My New Shirts

I've bought way too many shirts online these past few days...

The legality of apple cider

My roommate and I were having a discussion about what makes apple cider "cider" and not juice. We were stumped. This highly accurate source told us that cider is the tarter, cloudier version of apple juice, and then proceeded to amaze us with this remark (click to enlarge):


Not legally well established? Well, I suppose that one of you lawyer types should get on that. I can only imagine that this gray area of the law ripe and ready for picking, as it were...

I say a lot of stupid things...

Boy, I say a lot of stupid crap.

Do you ever have those moments when you think back on things and realize how dumb you sounded? That happens to me a lot. Why am I telling you all this? Well, mainly because we all know that it is true.

So, if you think back on things and realize that I have said something completely blockheaded, lame or otherwise moronic, rest assured that I've probably realized it as well. Let's face it, I'll never bat 1.000. I'm always going to say dumb things once in awhile - we all do. But, here's to hoping that my batting average will improve.

Things I Think About When I'm Studying

It's test time, which means more random thoughts than normal.


Movies that will probably never be made
Love and Skeletor
The Bob Ross Story starring Tony Shaloub
Zamfir: The Musical

People that should never have a talk show
Ashton Kutcher
Gallagher
The Kool-Aid Man

People that should have a talk show
Lao Tzu
The guy from the Micro Machines commericals
Peter Frampton (provided that all interviews be carried out using the talk box)

Crazy or horribly sane? You be the judge.

I'm Kilroy!

I don't know how many of you out there watch My Name Is Earl, but I caught the tail end of last week's episode while watching last week's episode of The Office at lunch today. It's so much better in hi-def, but I think you'll get the idea. Hilarious!

The Many Moods of Dave

Since I'm a relatively new person to most of my readers, I thought a primer into the many moods of Dave might you all get to know me just a little bit better.

Feelin' Tough/Sleepy











Awesome skills + tough look = 1 Bad Dude


Feeling Non-Conversational










Sloth love Chunk!


Feeling Old










Prematurely old, in fact...


Angry, like when your elevator stops at EVERY floor and you are in a hurry...










Beware my wrath!

Early In The Morning

Here's an idea of what I wake up to every morning:




















Not too shabby, eh?

Of All The Things You Could Say...

Saw this on the way home from Church today:
















Now that's one drunk who is free of self-deception!

Song of the Moment

Artist: Blossom Dearie
Album:Verve Jazz Masters 51
Track: Rhode Island is Famous for You

Blossom Dearie (yes, that is her real name) has been a favorite of mine for a long time. Some say she isn't a real jazz singer, that she's more of a supper club singer. Whatever. She's got a great voice (many describe it as girlish - that's meant in a good way), and this track has a lot of humor to it. I can't help but smile when I listen to Blossom, so if you are looking for some feel good music, give her a shot.

Sexism... Tasty!

Boy, those Brits really know how to make a candy bar, don't they? Introducing Yorkie, the only candy bar they can't sell in the US because of Title IX! Click on the picture for more political incorrectness!

Song of the Moment

Being a conscientious blogger (read: one who knows his blog needs a lot of improvement), I am always looking for ways to make this a better read. For this reason, I have decided to add a little segment to this blog called "Song of the Moment" where I basically tell you what I like right now and why I like it. Why me? Why now? Well, I just figured that since my musical tastes are a bit different from most people that I know, this might be a good way for me to expose you all to some new music. Maybe you will like the song, maybe you won't - I won't bat 1.000, doesn't matter. I would love to hear from you all about whether or not this little segment works, and what you think about these tunes if you end up checking them out.

So, to start things off I've got a little bit of punk for you.

Track: Ring of Fire
Artist: Social Distortion
Album: Social Distortion

OK, so I don't really listen to these guys other than this track. It pretty much proves my point that there are some songs (this one by Johnny Cash) can be turned into kick butt punk tunes. I highly reccomend busting out some wicked awesome air guitar moves when you listen to it. I also think that Follow the Prophet would make an excellent punk tune, so you might not want to completely trust my judgement...

It's True!

From Personal Photos

See? I did have hair once!

Elf Sociology

So, I am taking this class called Statistical Mechanics. What is that, you ask? Doesn't the title give it away? Well, for those of you who aren't on the boat yet, let me add that it really should be called Statistical Thermodynamics. Got it now?

Well anyway, I got to class this morning and we began talking about the Sociology of Elves. Hmm... Can you see why I am confused?

Halfway Halloween

Halloween is coming soon. I'm not a big fan, nor am I a big fan of scary movies - they just don't do anything for me. They either don't scare me at all because they seem to ridiculous, or they don't leave me feeling all that good. Well, in an attempt to be less of a wet blanket this Halloween season, I've compiled a list of movies that I do like that might work as alternatives to the standard Halloween fare. So, without further ado I present:

(Semi) Scary Movies That I Happen To Like

1. Monsters, Inc. - OK, not a scary movie, but it works.
2. Clue - Creepy mansion + mass murders + multiple endings = good clean fun.
3. The Goonies - C'mon, didn't sloth give you nightmares as a kid?
4. Wait Until Dark - Good creepy thriller. Watch with the lights out.
5. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom - Darkest one of the three, but Indy still wins
6. Rear Window - Really a thriller rather than a scary movie, but it will give you chills
7. Young Frankenstein - Great comedy version of the Frankenstein story. Mel Brooks at his finest.
8. Red Eye - Cillian Murphy will never play a romantic lead.
9. Ghostbusters - The ultimate feel good creepy movie. Total classic.

Well, I hope that give all of you non-scary movie people some Halloween alternatives. Enjoy - you wussies.

Forwarded Emails

I'm sure some of you out there will feel the same way I feel about this, but I hate forwarded emails. Let me clarify, I hate stupid forwarded emails. There are a few kinds, but I am only going to list the ones that I find particularly heinous, and they are (in order of increasing annoyance):

1. Surveys: Not particularly offensive, but heinous because of the time I actually waste on these every once in awhile.
2. Chain letters: Ãœberlame. How anyone could believe that the outcome of their lives could be changed by sending or not sending it on is beyond me.
3. Voting/Petitions: These are getting to the point of really bugging me. When people say, "Here's a link to vote for <insert name here> as Person of the Year/Decade/Century in <insert name of magazine/tv program/website here>" I get really steamed. Most of the ones that I get are an attempt at getting religious figures at the top and are accompanied by a paragraph indicating to me that if I don't vote early and vote often, I am not a true Christian/Mormon/Human Being. I hate to break it to you all, but the best way to show your beliefs is not to vote your leaders to the top, but to listen to and live their teachings.
4. Misquotes: These are the worst. At one time I taught a class on how to teach Sunday School. When we got to the section about keeping the doctrine that we teach pure, I let them know that the biggest error that a religious teacher can make is to misquote or incorrectly paraphrase a scripture or the teachings of Church leaders. I hate the phrase, "A General Authority once said..." Most people don't intend on passing faulty information or half-truths to others, but that is often what they do after uttering those words. My rule of thumb is, if you don't know who said it, don't say it. If you think someone said it, find out, and share it next time. Too often I get emails that contain misquotes, or completely false statements attributed to some famous person. I got one today from a friend (the reason for my rant). It was a quote from Ben Stein about Christmas, and I liked the first half, but then the second half changed tone and became a bit more accusatory. I usually regard all forwards of this type as being fabrications, but since I like Ben Stein and I liked the first half of what he supposedly said, I looked in to this one. I found that the first half was indeed something he said. The second half, however, was something that had been added by someone or a group of someones somewhere, sometime. Are you seeing the holes in quality control here? People, when are you going to learn that just because something is on the internet or in an email doesn't make it the truth! I know it is easier to just click "forward" than to check the facts, but don't do it! Be educated! Learn to say things for yourself, and you will have something of your own to send to people! I am using too many exclamation points! Well, since I am using too many exclamation points, I had better get off the soapbox...

My Name is D... Scrumpestuous D

Now for some news that is still sending spasms of delight through my body at random intervals - the rerelease of all 20 James Bond movies in 2 disc, fully remastered Ultimate Editions. Pretty cool, huh? Well, in an attempt to spread some of this delight, here is a little teaser for you:





















Hope you enjoyed that. I think I am going to head on over to Amazon.com right now...

Retrocrush

I still remember my first date. We had dinner at her apartment, and then a sunset walk along the shores of Lake Washington. We fed the seagulls, enjoyed the night air and then stopped off for a little dessert. She bought me an Almond Joy bar. It was cute. Life seemed pretty good at the time - until she decided to go on a mission. I was crushed. I was also 5 years old.

Fast forward 20 years. Though I am still reeling from that initial rejection, I still get crushes on girls (I should say women, but crushes on women sounds funny), but it's just not the same anymore. So, in an attempt at capturing some of that retrocrush magic, I'm taking a trip down memory lane. As a kid, I can't remember having that many crushes on real girls. Most of the time, I would see girls/women on TV and think they were really pretty or really cool... as you can see, I was a discerning little boy. Anyway, here's a little list just to give you an idea of what was going through that hair-covered, pre-pubescent little head of mine.



First on the list is Wonder Woman. Man, I used to watch that show all the friggin' time. Surprisingly enough, it wasn't the costume that did it for me. Being 6, it was pretty much a non-issue. I liked her because she kicked booty, not because I liked her booty. What kid wouldn't love a girl with power bracelets, a magic lasso and an invisible plane?



Next up on the hit parade is Daisy Duke. My mom really liked watching the Dukes (still does. In fact, she taped the reunion show a few years ago), and naturally, I watched along. It wasn't the Hot Pants. I had no concept of what Hot Pants were, I guess I just thought she was nice. And let's not forget, she had a jeep.



I had a crush twice over for the last lady on my list, first as Col. Wilma Deering on Buck Rogers and later as Kate Summers on Silver Spoons. Yes, I am talking about the one and only Erin Gray. There are many things that I could possibly say about her characters, but I think I can sum it up by saying that even at a tender young age I realized that if a foxy lady such as Kate Summers could marry a dweeb like Edward Stratton III, there was hope. Plus she knew how to fly a spaceship.

D's Big Adventure

Today was crazy. Last night I noticed that the AC adapter for my beloved PowerBook began sparking. Well, one of the wires was frayed and in the interest of not burning down my apartment (and thereby not getting my deposit back), I decided to get a new one. This meant going to one of 3 places - the Apple store in SoHo, the NYU Computer store, or the Apple Store on 5th Ave. Now, I have been to the first, there was no guarantee that the second would have the part in stock, and I had never been to the third. So, off I went to the 5th Ave location - walking. I started at 30th and 1st Ave and walked to 5th Ave and 59th Street. Now, for those of you not living in NYC, that is a pretty decent walk. After passing Grand Central Terminal and a few other New York landmarks along the way, I finally got to the Apple Store. What a place! I wandered for a bit, and finally found the adapter (last one in stock, lucky me!), and noticed something interesting about the store - there are no cash registers. At least none that I could see. Well, I think that one of the workers noticed my confusion and walked up to me with a little handheld device and offered to check me out. He scanned the item, swiped my card and verified my email so they could send me the reciept. How cool! Right in the middle of the store! I'm gushing!

Well, this is when things got a bit more interesting. Leaving the store, I began to plan my route back to the apartment and I decided to walk past the UN on the way home. Whoops. I guess I should have been more up on current affairs. I completely forgot that the President of Iran was speaking there today (and Pres. Bush, btw), and security was high. In fact I was pretty much the only person I saw that wasn't either with the NYPD, Secret Service, or had a UN ID. I have to admit that the aura of international intrigue surrounding the situation caused visions of 24 to float through my head... OK, so I watch too much TV.

On a more humorous note, as I was walking down 57th I had a major flash from the past, namely one Mr. Juan Valdez and his donkey, who have apparently opened a coffee shop together. Remember that guy? He was always showing up in the most ridiculous places (kitchen windows, bathrooms) in his commercials just to let people know that he picked their coffee beans (not some stupid mermaid). I wonder how many times he got arrested for trespassing (Honey! Get your gun, that Colombian guy and his donkey are back and they trampled my petunias!). Editor's note: The author of this blog does not condone in any way the threatening or harming of Colombians. He likes Colombians. Especially Shakira.

Blinded By The Light

The song Blinded By The Light, originally by Bruce Springsteen but made famous by Manfred Mann's Earth Band is a veritable treasure trove of misunderstood lyrics. I don't care how much you listen to it and try to figure out what they are saying, he says "douche." That's right, douche. The Springsteen version says "deuce," referring to a 1932 Ford Deuce Coupe (like the Beach Boys song Little Deuce Coupe), but this version is clearly douche just like Johnny RIvers sings "secret asian man" and Jimi Hendrix sings "excuse me while I kiss this guy." I'm also pretty sure that they use the word "anus" in Blinded By The Light, but what do you expect from a song that has lyrics like:

And go-kart Mozart was checkin' out the weather charts
see if it was safe outside
And little early burly came by in his curly whirly
and asked me if I needed a ride.

Perfect Scenario

In the murky recesses of my mind, I have hidden away a whole collection of "perfect scenarios." Maybe you know the kind of scenarios that I am talking about. They are the ones labeled, "I'll be perfectly happy when..." Well, moving to the city has sort of given me the opportunity to reflect on where I have been and where I want to go, and in the process, I've realized that I don't know why these scenarios are hidden all the way back in the murky recesses of my mind. There's nothing wrong with them, and they at least deserve a spot in the fluorescently-lit cubicles of my mind if not a full blown position on the breathtaking mountaintops of my mind. My only fear is that the move request will end up on the desk of the middle manager of my mind and the whole process will get so caught up in bureaucratic red tape that the filing cabinet where my scenarios are stored will end up in the sapphire pools of someone else's mind, and they will be forever lost to me because the email program of my mind sent the tracking information to the junk folder. Man, that would be a mess. Well, in an attempt to avoid all that bureaucratic mumbo-jumbo, from time to time I may throw a few scenarios up here on the old blog. Just to show you all that I'm not kidding, here is one of them:

Me and my signifigant other are sitting on the porch of our beach house, sipping lemonade, staring at the ocean and enjoying the afternoon breeze. The last key to the scenario is music. Almost every one of these scenarios includes music, and in this one it's Nat King Cole. If you too can see yourself in that situation within the next few (I use that word lightly) years, and are a member of the female persuasion, call me at...

Now, now, you didn't think I was actually going to do it, did you?

The Sound of Silence

I was talking to some friends last night about the subject of talking. The conversation went something like this:

Me: I talk too much.
Others: Yes you do.

It wasn't much of a conversation. Later that evening, waiting for the bus, I realized that I really am afraid of silence. There are probably several reasons why, but I still haven't figured out what they are. Now, there is a principle here that I should have learned a long time ago. I am a huge fan of Jazz, and there was a time that I played decent Jazz trumpet (sadly, it's been almost 2 years since I was playing regularly). Well, when learning how to play an improvised solo, there is this pressure to fill every beat with notes, either to show everyone that you can play well, or out of fear of losing their interest. But as you may have guessed, the experienced soloist knows that empty space (silence) in a solo is equally as important as the space that you fill. I've got another jazz principle having to do with falling on your face, but that will have to wait for some other time.

Simpler Times

So, I have spent most of the night celebrating Mexican Independence Day watching American sitcoms. Go figure. Well, as sort of a one man afterparty, I decided to - wait for it - watch more TV! Currently, I am watching an old show that I loved as a kid, Benson. Boy, the sitcom has changed since 1982. Then again, maybe not. Here's the story so far...

Benson, the Lieutenant Governor (formerly the butler to the Governor - congrats on the promotion) needs to go to a BIG meeting in a town 5 hours away, and the silly cook, who has apparently become some kind of secretary since I was eight, forgets to buy plane tickets. So, Benson and the cook/secretary drive off in the night to get there, but (you ready?) they head in the wrong direction! And to make things worse, the cook/secretary was told not to take the blue sedan, and guess what - she took the blue sedan! Ha ha ha. So, now that they are stuck in this repair shop/diner, the cook/secretary takes a job as waitress! Ha! What will they think of next? Well, I'm not going to bore you with the rest of the plot (as I'm probably not going to finish the rest of the show), but I'm sure that in the end, Benson will get to the meeting and hilarity will ensue.

Well, enough ragging on old shows. They do have some good things about them. Like kick @$* theme songs. Man, I love that bari sax...

I Hate Halloween

I really do. I loved the candy as a kid, and I did enjoy dressing up way back when (I particularly liked the space alien costume my Mom made for me in the 1st grade), but not anymore. Yet, this year, I find myself actually looking forward to getting dressed up and... well, let's be honest, probably just sitting in my apartment. Regardless, I do have some ideas, and I thought that I would just put them out there on the net for all (1) of my readers to enjoy. So, without further ado, let me present:

Scrumpestuous D's List of Costumes and Other Fancy Clothes

(Nice use of color and bold, don't you think?)

1. Dr. Evil - You see, I am bald and evil, so it's a perfect fit right? The only drawback is the scar. I don't have one and can't stand having things stuck/painted/glued to my face. It's weird, I know. I hated facepainters as a child.
2. The Skipper - I would go as Gilligan, but I'm not a bony dope. So the natural next choice is the Skipper. Blue Polo, khakis and a hat and all I would need to complete it is a Mary Ann...
3. George Jetson - Probably not going to happen, but how cool would it be?
4. Baseball Player - This is my old standby. I think I did this 3 years in a row once. I wouldn't mind busting out the old jersey.
5. Daddy Warbucks - This was actually a suggestion from last year. I had a friend who was short, redheaded and spunky (possible doctoral dissertation: genetic link between readheadedness and spunk), and we all thought it would be a hoot and a half (she was short, remember?) if we went as Little Orphan Annie and Daddy Warbucks. I thought it was a great idea, but it never happened. If I could find an Annie, this one would be high on the list.
6. Kojak - I love this idea, but I'm afraid that I would spend the evening explaining who I was. I already have the hat, I could score some glasses easily enough and have a few good ties, all I would really need is a bag of dum-dum's.
7. Football Player - Pretty much the same as #4, but gives me an excuse to buy a Seahawks jersey.
8. Curly - Needs a Larry and Moe
9. Laurel and Hardy - I love these guys. Where could I find a skinny dopey-looking partner?
   

End of Costumes and Fancy Clothes Section!

Well, that about does it for this time. Feel free to leave your comments at the bottom so that all (1) my readers can enjoy them.

Royal Flush

I have a dream.

How many times do you find yourself sitting in the bathroom with absolutely nothing to do? Well, I guess that quite often you are doing something, but that doesn't take a whole lot of concentration now does it? Well, people have many ideas about how to fill that dead time such as:

• Reading the newspaper
• Reading Sports Illustrated
• Reading the back of your shampoo bottle
• Talking on a cell phone (you know who you are...)

Well, I plan on taking things to the next level - TV. For years we have had the TV, and now we have them built for ouur kitchens and our cars, and why not have one in the bathroom? I hear Samuel L. Jackson even has a TiVo in his bathroom, and he never misses on a good idea...

There is also a plan for a TV in the shower, but it is a bit more complicated, but nothing says royal treatment more than exfoliating facial scrub and CNN - AT THE SAME TIME! There really is only one drawback to this whole plan, and that's the end of the mid-shower epiphany. But, sometimes you can't have it all.

More Apologies

Well, now that I have no readers anymore, it's high time to continue filling up the internet with worthless crap! The reason (excuse) for not having written in a while is that I have been "getting used to" my new place in good old New York City. Perhaps starting grad school has something to do with it as well, but probably not...

So, NYC is great, and with the change of scenery I have decided to explain what this blog is all about. Well, pretty much it is about nothing, which is what most blogs are about. Which makes me wonder...

most blogs are about nothing...

Seinfeld was a show about nothing...

therefore most blogs are about Seinfeld!

Ok, I've got another one:

God is love...
Love is blind...
Stevie Wonder is blind...
Therefore Stevie Wonder is God! Man, he's so awesome! Very superstitious...

Hmm... perhaps there is something wrong with my logic. Well, one last question that I get all the time (lie) is what does the word "scrumpestuous" mean. Well, it's sort of a mish-mash (a portmanteau, if you want to get technical) of several words, including and not limited to:

Scrumptious
Stupendous
Delicious
Erudite
Suave
Handsome
Classy
Stud-muffin
Rad-i-cool
Fahrvergnügen
Sensitive 90's man and
absquatulate

But, feel free to add your own. The meaning can't really be expressed in words, but it is pretty much synonomous with "cool".

D's Top Ten Movies #5 - Raiders of the Lost Ark

I was born in 1980, and Raiders came out in 1981. I can't honestly remember when the first time I became aware of Indiana Jones was, although it was probably by watching the movies with my brother. In my mind, this movie is an all time classic and the best of the series.

I won't spend any time on the plot (I guess I usually don't do that anyway), but I'll just throw a few of my thoughts out on the table. I really think that every movie presents a different version of Indy. Of all of them, I really like the one that is presented in Raiders. Though there are serious moments, the movie is pretty lighthearted overall and flows nicely. It would have been nice to see a bit (not much) more romance between Indy and Marion, but it worked out well. The last thing that I want to say has to do with the ending. As much as I love Indiana Jones, and I know that most everything he does falls within that region of "suspended disbelief," I have the hardest time believing that in order to escape the wrath of God, all you need to do is close your eyes. If you don't know what I am talking about, watch it again. Let me know how you feel.

D's Top Ten Movies #6 - So I Married An Axe Murderer

When this movie first came out, I was 12 and my best friend wanted to go see this for his birthday. My Mom wasn't so excited about that idea, thinking this was some kind of slasher movie or something. Well, it took me about 10 years before I actually saw this movie and it was worth it. This is one of the few movies that I can sit down and watch at any time (another one is coming up later on in the list). I don't know why that is, but I just never get tired of this one.

Not having seen this movie until I was in college, it ended up being one that I quoted before ever even seeing. Lines like "oohh, you're gonna buy my chicken, aren't ye," and "Head! Pants! Now!" were flying around my college dorm room and apartments to the point that I felt that if I ever saw the movie, I would be sorely disappointed because I already knew all the funny parts. Well, I'm glad that it turned out I was wrong.

I don't claim that this movie is one of the greats. In fact, the rottentomatoes.com cream of the crop rating puts it at 20% fresh, which is easily the lowest rating on this list (stay tuned for a listing of all the ratings on this list). I can live with that. This isn't anything more than another Mike Meyers movie, yet it always seems funny to me. Perhaps it is because he plays a rather normal guy as opposed to his usual outrageous characters. Perhaps I can identify with having a quirky family (we all have relatives that are just a little off...). Or perhaps it just has to do with it taking place in San Francisco. Who knows. Either way, I would recommend this movie to anyone. It's funny, it's kinda got heart, and the lines are so gosh-darn quoteable.

D's Top Ten Movies #7 - The Pink Panther Strikes Again

I don't know that I am going to say much about this movie in this post. I'll probably just leave it to you out there to go out and see it. I have to say that I love all of the Pink Panther movies. I got it from my Mom, who introduced them to me as a child. I probably could have replaced Strikes Again with Return of the Pink Panther or A Shot in the Dark, which are both great movies, but Strikes Again is the one that I remember most from my childhood, so it gets to represent the series in the number seven slot.

There isn't much to the plot of this movie (or indeed to the plots of any of the movies), but the execution of them is so funny. From the bad french accent ("the minkey") to the endless attempts by Cato to attack Clousseau, to the incessant cries from Dreyfuss for Clousseau's life, any of these movies will have you laughing until your sides hurt. I highly reccommend that if you haven't seen any of these movies, go out and rent one today. Don't worry about Trail of the Pink Panther as it is a horrible mishmash of clips from other movies put together after Peter Sellers' death. But any of the other Sellers Panther movies will be a real treat. But you don't have to take my word for it...

D's Top Ten Movies #8 - The Incredibles

This would probably be the most debated movie on my list, if people were actually debating my movie picks. I guess a lot of the reason why I like this movie has to do with my childhood love of comics and superheroes. I still have a decently large collection of comics at my parents house consisting mostly of X-Men, with a heathly dose of Superman, Spider-Man, and Batman thrown in for good measure. Mix with that my love of all things Pixar, and you've got a winner.

The great thing about the Pixar movies is that the stories are just so much fun. Too often I see movies that are just too much about effects, and you would think that with the technology available to them, it would be easy to go all out on a superhero pic and ignore the storyline. Heaven knows that is what happened with X3. Too many half developed plot elements. Yet, for all the technical advantages of animating superheroes, the animators didn't use their talent for big effects, but rather the small ones that add a realistic touch. Just look at the character's hair or skin. It's not easy to make those things look real (if you don't believe me, look at the majority of the computer animated movies out on the market. Shiny spheres and cylinders).

One of the things that I liked the most about this movie is all the time spent showing the characters at home, in more real-life situations. I love the idea of a "retired" hero at home with the kids, and I love how they were portrayed as being pretty much normal people. No dark past, no secret hideout, and no fancy cars (well, mostly). Even the relationships seems pretty much like everyone elses. Problems at home, time with the family and all that. Contrast that with the adventures the family has when they team up, and I begin to get a feeling that I have had since I was a kid. If these seemingly normal people can do it, I might stand a chance too. I want to be a superhero. Now where's that toxic waste...

D's Top Ten Movies #9 - The Lord of the Rings

What can I say, this is probably the epic of my generation. Originally, I was skeptical of these movies. I missed all of the hype surrounding the first of these movies (being in Mexico at the time), and my first impression of them came from a giant poster in the apartment of a college student that I taught in Puebla. As my companion and I were getting to know her, we talked about it, and I remember thinking, "Man, another fantasy nerd pic." You see, I am not a big fan of the fantasy genre. It was the nerdy kids that I grew up with always talking about wizards this and unicorns that that really turned me off on the subject. I guess I should tell you that I was what most kids called nerdy, so the kids that I called nerdy were, well, ubernerds. Anyway, I really didn't think that the movies or books were worth checking out.

That all changed when Fellowship of the Ring was released on DVD. I was at my parents house for a few weeks, and saw a poster for Fellowship in the window of the local Blockbuster. Thinking that Liv Tyler was hot, I decided to give it a rent, and I got hooked.

I don't know what to say about these films (In case you haven't picked up on it yet, I'm considering the trilogy as one movie) other than what has already been said. 11 Oscars and millions of fans can't be completely wrong. The cinematography is good, the adaptation, though lacking in some parts, is about as good as you can get, and the acting is well done. I think that the biggest thing about these movies is the absolutely large feel of these movies. From the sets, to the backgrounds, to the story itself, everything is too large to be contained in this world, yet no so big that it seems unreal. Kudos to Peter Jackson for undertaking a task that by its very nature doesn't usually work and making it work.

D's Top Ten Movies #10 - The Importance of Being Earnest

So, to start out the list we have one of the funniest movies I happen to own, The Importance of Being Earnest. My first impression of the movie was that it was just another Jane Austen wannabe, estrogen filled, chick flick. Well, though this isn't your typical man movie, I was pleasantly surprised when I got around to watching it. I usually describe Earnest to others as the ultimate polite comedy. I'm not fully sure what I mean by that, but it seems to fit. The humor in this film is wonderfully dry and wraps some of the most over-the-top moments in stuffy victorian sensibilities. I really think that it's the juxtaposition of absurd and subdued that makes the film so excruciatingly funny.

The cast is great. All the actors seem to play well, and do it naturally except for Reese Witherspoon. She does a fine job, but you can tell that this isn't her ususal type of role, and she doesn't pull it off with quite the grace that everyone else does. I don't think I need to say much about the screenplay. It's good. Maybe not the best adaptation of the Oscar Wilde classic, but it's good enough for me.

I would reccommend this highly to anyone, and yes guys, it is safe to have in your collection. It's funny if you want to pay attention to the plot and show a bit of class, but it isn't by any means an Adam Sandler movie, so if that's what you are looking for, keep looking. All in all, this is a charming and very funny movie that is clean enough for any BYU girl out there.

I Like to Watch

So, I figured that in order to honor my return to the blogosphere, I would present all of my (2) faithful readers with a list of the top 10 movies that I happen to own. For those of you who don't know, I consider myself a kind of a film nerd. I don't often spend time at the art house cinemas (most of that stuff happens once a year during Sundance, and I've never been), and I've missed a lot of the "classics" so I'm probably the film world's equivalent of a band geek. Being that as it may, I feel my credentials are sound. I've seen a lot of bad movies and like to think that I've got a pretty good eye for a good one. So, now that I've established myself as one of the world's foremost connoisseurs of film, let's get down to business.

First of all, let me tell you that for me, cinema falls into two general categories. There are movies and there are films. Movies tend to be more of the "mental junk food" type, to borrow a phrase from my dad. Sometimes they are just dumb, like Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure or Airplane or more substantial like Sneakers, but they are always pure entertainment. Then there are films. To me, films have something epic, artistic or classic about them. I don't favor one category over the other, they both serve a purpose, and you'll see a mix of them throughout the list.

One last thing about the list. I have put it in an order, from 10 at the bottom and 1 at the top, but you shouldn't consider the order to be set in stone. I debated a lot about what to put in the list and where to put it and if you were to ask me a month from now it would likely be different. That being said, let me start you off with short reviews of a few of the honorable mentions. These are in no order whatsoever.

Star Wars
Yeah, it didn't make the top 10. I like it a lot, and the trilogy has become modern mythology, but I really feel that the new trilogy and the additions that Lucas has made (not to mention his greedy marketing schemes) have tarnished it. Good story, classic characters, effects that still look good to me, and a lot of childhood nostalgia help this one to make honorable mention.

Much Ado About Nothing
I can't remember the first time that I realized Shakespeare could be wickedly funny, but I'm pretty sure that it was while watching the 1993 Kenneth Branagh version. I guess this would fall into the film category, the choice of location is probably enough to put it there for me. I mean, after all, Tuscany! The acting is superb, except for the reason that this didn't make the top ten, Keanu Reeves. As far as I'm concerned, Keanu's career peaked at Bill and Ted's. I'm convinced that Keanu was cast because there wasn't enough money left for someone else. Man, his scenes make this otherwise magnificent movie drop down to honorable mention status. Too bad.

Some Like It Hot
Oooh, a classic. Very funny. For those of you who haven't seen it, it's an over-the-top comedy of errors about two cross-dressing jazz musicians in the late 20's. If that doesn't pique your interest, you probably wouldn't like this movie. I don't know what more to say about it other than you'll laugh your head off when you watch it.

Sneakers
This one is a great movie that is suspenseful without being over done and funny without being ridiculous. I really think that the cast sells this movie for me. Robert Redford, Sidney Poitier, Sir Ben Kingsley, David Stratharin (of recent Good Night and Good Luck fame), River Phoenix and... Dan Aykroyd? Well, trust me, it works due to a well written and well thought out script that seems to know how to best use each actor. The addition of Mary McDonnell adds a touch of class that makes this movie a real treat to watch.

Clue
It's sopomoric, silly, and it has 3 endings! Man we watched this so much when I was a kid that my mom banned it for a while. Maybe that had to do with some of the innuendos (which I didn't pick up as a kid), but mostly I think it had to do with all the repeated viewings. This movie has such a great ensemble cast and some unforgettable lines ("heaving... breathing flames" and "I had to stop her from screaming" come to mind) that it is worth a few viewings. Though it has three different endings (which one you saw was determined by which theater you went to, I believe) you should really watch all of them back to back to back. And remember folks, Communism is just a red herring.

Ghostbusters
This is another one that I watched a lot as a kid. I still remember the first time I saw it was when my cousins rented it when it first came out on VHS. I was pretty young then, and quite frankly it scared me a little. Good thing I got over that. Between the movies, the cartoon and the proton pack I got for my 7th birthday, I grew up in a Ghostbusters world. I guess it was such a big part of my pop-cultural education that I named my current computer Ecto-1, and I've never thought of twinkies in the same way...

Well, that wraps up my list of honorable mentions. In the next few days, I will post more in depth reviews of my top ten list, one movie at a time. Stay tuned...

Honor Code 2.0

Note: Some readers may find this post offensive and my views heretical. To you I say, move out of Provo. Please.

If you are still reading, let me congratulate you on being a risk-taker. A real devil-may-care, living-on-the-edge, hyphenation-abusing kind of person. That being said, let me launch right in to this post.

Like many recently graduated BYU students, I am facing one of the greatest dilemmas of my life. No, it's not what to do with the rest of my life. That's a question that, thanks to grad school, I don't have to answer for a while. It is the question of what to do now that I don't have to live the Honor Code. Add to that the fact that I am pretty much moving to Soddom and Gamorrah and I guess I am a "dead man walking," as it were. So, what am I to do?

Well, all joking aside (for a moment), I really don't have a problem with the Honor Code. It's pretty much how I have always chosen to live my life. I know, I know. I'm pretty perfect, aren't I? (OK, humor is back). So here is my solution to the great dilemma of dilemmas. I like to call it Honor Code 2.0: Lost In New York. Pretty much it looks like the original with these changes:

1) The bathroom. The honor code states: "The use of the bathroom area by members of the opposite sex is not appropriate unless emergency or civility dictate otherwise; and then only if the safety, privacy and sensitivity of other residents are not jeopardized." Pretty sure I'm not going to send a girl to the neighbors to take a pee. I have a feeling she wouldn't come back.

2) Curfew. I really don't have a problem with this one, and don't intend on breaking it just because I can. I have never seen the point in sticking around someone's place until way too late but, I won't kick anyone out if the movie isn't finished.

3) Facial Hair. Yeah, that's the big one. Here are my changes to the facial hair category: Mustaches (or mustachios if you prefer) are banned, even if they do not extend beyond the corners of your mouth. Neatly trimmed goatees, beards, etc. are allowed. But only if they make you look sexy.

So there it is, Honor Code 2.0. Call me a rebel, if you like but you'd be wrong since I was a Kang.

Who Wants To Be A Game Show Host?

As I get older, I realize that most of the things little kids want to be are really crazy career choices. Policemen and firefighters are constantly putting themselves at risk, pre-meds face rediculous amounts of competiton just to become a doctor and then have a lifetime of paying malpractice insurance, and with the state of the American spaceshuttle fleet being what it is, well, I wouldn't step into one. So, as a society, we have a little crisis on our hands. We need to educate our children to stay away from these crazy, dangerous careers and find something more fulfilling. So, what's my answer to this problem? We need to help young Americans see the benefits of a career as a Game Show host. As the baby boomers retire there will be more need for game and reality TV shows. Who will fill these needed positions? That's right, America's best and brightest.

We need to start this education young. How many kids say "I want to be a game show host when I grow up"? It is imperative that we change this foolish way of thinking. Teach your children that a life as a game show host can be fulfilling and rewarding. Not nly do you get to meet famous people and have lovely assistants, but you also get to be on TV! Why would you want to do anything else? No risk, no insurance, and there is always a winner.




Well, there is the hair...

My name is Jack Bauer

Hello. My name is (my name) and I'm a 24 addict. I've been an addict since September 2005. I know what you may be thinking, that's not so long. But I have seen every episode of 24 that was ever made (including those stupid mobile phone ones), and as such, have had a constant flow of Jack Bauer over the pursuing months until now. But, like all the other addicts out there, I am arriving on a bittersweet time in my life - the two hour finale. I can't wait to see how Jack & co. bring down Pres. Dipwad and his henchmen, and stop that submarine from attacking Los Angeles, but what am I going to do when the credits roll? I'll be out of a fix for the first time since I got on this crazy ride. Boy, I've always felt that 24 was a soap opera for men. Glad to see that I'm not the only one (Thanks P for the heads up).

Somehow I will survive...

Available

Does anyone else find something ironic about marking yourself as "available" in your instant messenger? If it were only so easy.....

Obviously this blue part here is the land...

So, I have added a map to this blog. "A map," you say. Yes a map. Let me tell you about it. Well, this lovely map tracks where it is that people are who read this blog. Yes, this is another pathetic effort to see if people are actually reading this thing, but at least it's colorful, and no, it doesn't collect antything about you so don't worry about Big Brother getting you. Trust me, being the victim of fraud myself, I don't want to have that happen to you (see, I care. Read my blog). Anyway, I'm really hoping that I get some pretty esoteric hits on the map like from Mongolia or something. But I'm pretty much guessing that there will be a big red dot in the the middle of the US... (this is the place!). Well, just thought I would share. Off to my softball game. Wish me luck!

Tech Update

Ok, so I took down the post about the Atom feed for this site, and for a good reason. I have decided to run my feed through Feedburner. That means that all 3 of you who read this thing can now use pretty much any type of RSS reader to keep tabs on this site. I guess what I am hoping for is to make this blog a bit more read (tell your friends...). So, if you happened to read my instructions on how to set up a Live Bookmark in Firefox, nothing has changed (at least on the front end). The steps remain the same:

1. Click on the syndication icon in the address bar (possibly on the status bar at the bottom of your browser).

2. Give the Live Bookmark a name (default is the name of this blog)

3. Tell the browser where to store the bookmark.

Pretty easy. What this will do for you is give you a bookmark that will automatically update itself to show the latest posts on my blog. It makes it really easy to keep up on what is goign through my skull without having to type scrumpestuous, which can be a pain, I know.

You can also use a dedicated feed reader program to manage "subscriptions" to my blog, and all the other blogs that you read. This is actually the main reason for my switching to Feedburner. Feedburner makes it really easy for these programs to read this blog (in case you didn't know there are several types of RSS and a few Atom formats as well). Feedburner basically takes care of handling whatever covsersion is necessary for your program to read my feed.

And, if that isn't good enough for you (or you aren't using an RSS capable browser or external program), you can simply bookmark this page. You can also get there by clicking the yellow Feedburner banner to the right.

I hope this makes things easy for you all!

Confessions of an addict

I woke up this morning and barely wanted to get out of bed. I think it was a mixture of several things. I have been a bit sick, it has been really hot at night in my apartment, and I have been having some very strange dreams lately. Add to that the stronger than usual Monday morning funk, and there is no good reason to leave the bed.

Well, that funk stayed with me at work today and feeling a bit low, I decided to buy lunch. Some of you may know that I hate Taco Bell. I really think it is gross. Yet, every time I'm feeling low, I decided to get Taco Bell. So, I began wondering if this is just me simply trying to punish myself, put my life in perspective (well, my life isn't as bad as that taco was...), or a sign of something more sinister: a Taco Bell addiction. I did a quick search for addiction self-tests and came up with a "20 Questions" from Gambler's Anonymous. I have adapted that list to help me find out if I have an addiction. So, here goes.

1. Did you ever lose time from work or school due to eating Taco Bell?
Well, I have eaten it during my lunch break (which is getting long because of writing this post)...
2. Has eating Taco Bell ever made your home life unhappy?
Yes. I usually get grumpy after eating it, which sometimes gets transferred to my roommates... Sorry guys.
3. Did eating Taco Bell affect your reputation?
Among the many self-respecting Mexicans that I call friends, yes.
4. Have you ever felt remorse after eating Taco Bell?
Every time.
5. Did you ever eat Taco Bell to get money with which to pay debts or otherwise solve financial difficulties?
Interesting thought, but no. I have never prostituted myself to Taco Bell.
6. Did eating Taco Bell cause a decrease in your ambition or efficiency?
Well, I am writing this blog instead of working...
7. After eating Taco Bell did you feel you must return as soon as possible and eat back your losses?
Not really sure what this one means... which is odd since I wrote this self-test.
8. After eating Taco Bell did you have a strong urge to return and eat more?
I usually have a strong urge to vomit after eating Taco Bell, so no.
9. Did you often eat Taco Bell until your last dollar was gone?
Not often.
10. Did you ever borrow to finance your trips to Taco Bell?
I don't beg for Taco Bell or any other fast food franchise. I am a proud man.
11. Have you ever sold anything to finance eating at Taco Bell?
Does my soul count? Good taste?
12. Were you reluctant to use "Taco Bell money" for normal expenditures?
Fortunately, no.
13. Did eating Taco Bell make you careless of the welfare of yourself or your family?
Yes. I consider eating Taco Bell a sign that I am careless about my welfare.
14. Did you ever eat longer than you had planned?
Yes...
15. Have you ever eaten Taco Bell to escape worry or trouble?
Did you read what I wrote above? I often regress into this behavior when I am worried, troubled, stressed, or generally lack friendly companionship.
16. Have you ever committed, or considered committing, an illegal act to finance a Taco Bell run?
Heavens no.
17. Did eating at Taco Bell cause you to have difficulty in sleeping?
Most definitely.
18. Do arguments, disappointments or frustrations create within you an urge to eat Taco Bell?
Yes, dang it, yes! What do you want from me!!!
19. Did you ever have an urge to celebrate any good fortune by eating at Taco Bell?
No.
20. Have you ever considered self destruction or suicide as a result of your eating at Taco Bell?
Suicide no, but it depends on what you mean by "self destruction." I usuall feel like I am going to self destruct after I eat there.

Well, they say that a yes to 7 or more means you are a compulsive gambler. Let's see if I am a compulsive Taco Bell addict. Well, I count more than 7. I guess that means I have a problem. If I don't post for a while, it's because I'll be in rehab.

A Modest Proposal

In today's era of modern communication, there are many ways for people to communicate (big news, I know). Email, cell phones, text messaging. Most of them are fine. But there is one kind of communication that has a severly gaping hole in it, and lucky for all of you, I have a solution. That's right folks, I'm taking a swing at those annoying little yellow smileys that we call emoticons.

I have a love hate relationship with emoticons. They're sort of that visual cue that fills in for the lack of vocal inflection and body language that IM doesn't give you. I wouldn't really care about all that if it weren't for the fact that sometimes, you have to use them (ever wonder why Shakespeare is kinda boring to read but fun to watch? That's right, no emoticons). As I see it, emoticons must have been designed by 14 year old girls. They just exude a vibe of lip-gloss and glitter, and therefore, they aren't really all that suited to expressing male emotions.

So, now on to the solution. People have gotten pretty creative with emoticons. I can't count the times that I have needed an emoticon for:

Abraham Lincoln: =):-)=
The Pope: +O:-)
or Elvis : ~:-\

What we really need are emoticons like this:

Manly grunt: :|
Connery Laugh: `:-\|
or Magnum: >:-+

Now, these are only a sampling of what may come. Given the huge range of emotions that most males express, there could literally be thousands - nay, millions of manly emoticons. The only last suggestion that I would give is to eliminate some of the stupid emoticons that seems to crop up (especially in the MSN set) like dog face, cat face, and and wilted rose. I say we replace them with stuff like this or this. I think that would get the message across.

If only I had been so clever...

So, another video. Just goes to show that you can still be cool without all the digital bling-bling. Should I do the bald/beard thing? Better watch it with the sound on...

More Newsradio Quotes

Well, I thought it was time to share more wit and wisdom (?) from the folks over there at WNYX. Enjoy!

Bill: This may come as a surprise to Dave, but slavery was abolished in this country - No offense Catherine.
Catherine: Why would I be offended by slavery being abolished?
Bill: I don't know, I just like to cover my bases.

Bill: It's better if we pick one specific issue and not back down. Like Custer we will make our last stand.
Catherine: Wasn't Custer massacred?
Bill: Big Chief Custer? No. He killed many paleface that day.

Anybody Know What This Is About?

I remember seeing this video when I was a freshman in college and thinking that it was a hilarious commentary on politics, etc. Well, I recently rewatched it and I have no idea what is going on. Are the Russians Invading? Are they coming to the West for refuge? Are really going to have to wear those rediculous costumes in the future? In order to find some answer to this madness, I am proposing a contest for the best explanation for this video. Please post you theories in the comments. There will be some sort of prize (probably my respect, possibly a Kit-Kat) for the winner. You know, you might as well try, the odds are pretty good that you will win since tons of people read my blog... Just click to play!

What the Nerf!

Remember those nerf guns with darts that never stick to anything? Well, apparently the people over at nerf let a sticky one pass through. Last night, while on the phone with a friend, I shot a dart out of my gun (yes, I'm 25 and own a nerf gun) at the ceiling and IT IS STILL THERE. Now, I have no idea how it is managing to stick there, but I think for right now, I am going to leave it and see how long it stays up there. Don't worry, I'll keep you all posted.

Update

Well,

I suppose that it is time to update y'all about life. For those of you who still read this (i.e. - nobody), and haven't talked to me in awhile, here is the skinny about my life. Things have been crazy for the past while. I have been traveling all over the place for grad school interviews and have been super busy with work and school. This semester I have been to:

Phoenix
Long Beach
St. Louis
Seattle
New York City

Dang! That's a lot. Anyway, I'm not going to bother with putting up my silly graphic with all of the grad schools, so I will make my big announcement right now:

I am going to NYU!

So that means that I will be moving to the Big Apple and will be there for 5-6 years. Crazy. I never pictured myself there, but that's where it is going to be. I actually only applied so that I could possibly get a cheap trip out there, and now my life is going to happen out there. I am still in a bit of shock. So there you have it. I am done with finals and walk on Friday, I have an apartment lined up in NY (and no, it's not cheap), funding, insurance and the whole ball of wax. Guess this means that I am growing up. And to think, not that long ago, I had hair. Well, sort of.

The Dawn of a New Era

Without any further ado, I would like to announce the relaunch of the Scrumpestuous Observer-Picayune (the crowd erupts in cheering). I know, I know, you are all thrilled (cheering begins to die and then suddenly, as if by an act of divine intervention, it begins anew). No really, please stop (as the crowd is a polite one, the cheering ceases). Anyway, school is out and I am hoping to pay more attention to my journalistic duties, and as motivation, I decided to make the blog look (hopefully) cooler. It still isn't done, I have a few kinks to iron out in the design (the box around the profile...) but I hope that you enjoy the new look. As you might have guessed, I didn't really pick the color scheme until last, so if you have any suggestions, I am open to them. The center of the whole design is the new banner announcing the blog. I would have to say that I was shooting for something that could be described as hip-cartoony-eclectic, and I think I did a pretty OK job. Yet, as I look at it, it always reminds me a bit of the opening credits to Ghostwriter. Odd. Anyway, expect more from me in the future as I fulfil my goal to fill your life with crap from mine. Enjoy, and welcome to the new blog!

Thoughts In New York

A Message From Stephen Hawking

So, I just discovered audioblogging. What a cool feature. Well, in honor of this new discovery, I invited a special celebrity to record the first audioblog on my site. So, please enjoy!

Crickets and taxes

Last night my car started making the strangest noise. I have worked around cars for a long time and never have I heard something like this. It sounded like there was a big-a cricket living in the vents. I'm talking huge. I don't imagine that I am going to hear it again, but if I do, I can only imagine trying to explain it to the mechanic.

Mechanic: "So, what seems to be the problem?"
Me: "It sounds like there is a cricket living in my car."
Mechanic: "Hmm... Is it a big cricket?"
Me: "Yes."
Mechanic: "Possibly a mutated cricket?"
Me: (Exasperated) "Possibly. Can you fix it?"
Mechanic: "It'll cost you $750, plus the can of Raid."

So I guess what that means is that I need to get my tax return if I am going to be able to pay the mechanic. Which is precisely what I dreamed about last night. After a rousing game of water hockey (imagine water polo with hockey sticks that are mostly used to hit people), I decided to do my taxes. What the crap! I dream about doing my taxes. So much for being a with-it kind of guy. Although I guess I gave that up when I moved to Provo.

Friday Night Treat

Tonight I am treating myself to something that I haven't done in months... watching Conan (the Irishman not the Barbarian). Considering that I have a drawing of his head on my keychain, it is suprising how little I have watched his show lately... I guess breaking my Conan fast is part of some well needed rest. I have been traveling all week long and have been fighting a cold, so I have been pretty cranky. Add to that a ton of frustration at certain aspects of my life not going in the way I have wanted them to and there you go. That's me. I must admit that watching Conan is really just icing on the cake. Today has been pretty cathartic already. I went with a friend to go see Kalai, who other than some pretty inane comments between songs (an understatement), is a pretty good performer. After the concert, we got into this conversation where we talked about a lot without going into much detail, which normally doesn't help with the frustration, but surprisingly this time it did. So T, thanks.

Well, I was going to blog about more stuff, and some of it was pretty funny, but I'm tired, and Conan is starting, so I'll see you suckas later.

Out of town

So, I have been out of town for the past week. It has been pretty crazy. Just to give you an idea, here is my flightplan:

SLC to PHX
PHX to STL
STL to SLC
SLC to LGB

And then a drive from Long Beach to Provo. But, anyway, both the trips to St. Louis and Long Beach were great. I loved WashU, and the weather in LGB was awesome (we pretty much went from the hottest part of the country to the coldest. Yay!). I also found out that I have been accepted to the University of Washington and they want me to fly out to visit. So, in honor of this news, I have upgraded my little logo chart (v. 2.0) to give all you guys an idea of how these things are going.


Anyway, the checks mean I have been invited to interview, the x is a rejecction, the green thumbs up mean acceptance (by them, I'll use a different logo for the school I select) and the ? should be obvious. For those of you who don't know what the actual school seals are, here's the list from left to right, top to bottom:

• Washington University in St. Louis (WashU)
• The Sackler Institute at NYU Med School
• University of Washington
• Boston University
• North Carolina State University
• The National Institutes of Health

Well, there it is. Enjoy! I should be blogging more often now that I am back in town.

Up too late...

Well, I did it again. I'm up too late. I have been programming all day long and I finally finished my project. Yay! I think that the coolest thing that I did today was learn how to use a debugger. Sad to say, I have been doing things the hard way for so long (hmm....), but now I have a new toy! What? Knight Rider is off the air! OK, so I am a bit behind the times...

Please disregard this post.

Too much Hullabaloo

So yesterday, as I was catching up on a bit of reading about my beloved Seahhawks, I ran across an article about a lawsuit that Texas A&M is bringing against Seattle for marketing "12th Man" products. Big deal. Seattle is known for stealing sports mottos. If I remember correctly, the rallying cry of the '95 Mariners was "Refuse to Lose" which we ripped off from some basketball team somewhere. Again I repeat, big deal. We have given this world Gary Larson, Nirvana, Bill Nye the Science Guy, Jimi Hendrix, The Presidents of the United States, Modest Mouse, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Starbucks, Microsoft (yeah, I know...), Costco, Amazon.com, Nordstrom, Boeing, Cinnabon, R.E.I., UPS, Red Robin, Nintendo, Bungie (Creators of Halo), the wave (here as well), Sir Mix-A-Lot, Bill Gates, Paul Allen (who owns the Seahawks), Richard Karn (Home Improvement's Al Borland), we have launched the careers of Ray Charles and Quincy Jones, play home (part time) to Dave Matthews, and are the burial place of Bruce Lee. Bruce Lee! I have a feeling if he were alive today that he would go Jeet Kune Do all over your legal documents. I'm sorry if we ripped off your slogan, but we have been too busy doing other things. Oh, by the way, thanks for giving us "Hullabaloo, Caneck! Caneck!" "Chig-gar-roo-gar-rem!" and "Gig 'em Aggies!" I use those all the time.

Anyway, where were your legal documents when we retired the #12 jersey in '84 and dedicated it to the "12th Man"? It wasn't until 2004 that we even heard anything from you. Why now rather than when we started the tradition in Seattle? You have been doing this a lot longer than we have, I'll give you that, but don't rain on our parade. We get enough of that already. According to your suit, you won't even let us say, "Thank You 12th Man" to all those who deserve it. I guess most Seattleites can just add this suit to the list of things they don't like from Texas. I'll finish my comments (eh, my rant) by quoting R.C. Merz, sandwich maker at Pike Place Market, who when asked if he thought Paul Allen and the Seahawks would be ok responded, "He can hire a good lawyer." You bet he can.

Grad School...

Well, I thought I might let all of you know what has been going on with grad school stuff. The past few days have been interesting, as I have been finding out who wants to interview with me. So, to make this fun, I thougt I would represent things in pictures (OK, fun for me, not you so much...). So, anyway, here are the pictures! I should mention that I haven't been accepted anywhere yet, but if there is nothing on the logo, I am interviewing with them. Anyway, enjoy!

Japanese Jetpacks, Moles and Pizza

I have often thought about blogging about relationships. I always come back to the thought that given my current location and station in life, it would just be too cliché, and therefore I don't. So, even though I have had occasion to spread some of my thought on the matter several times today, you won't find anything here, unless popular demand requests it. Just thought I would throw that one out there.

So, right now I am thinking of some good 'ol New York pizza and Arrested Development. I'll tackle my thoughts on the latter first (yes, I know, I always have to do things the hard way). I was reminded in an email about one of the funniest scenes I have ever seen and just thought I would put up a little bit of a preview for those of you out there who haven't seen the show (for those of you who have seen this, hopefully you found it as funny as I did). This photo comes from the-op.com, which is a pretty funny site if you are in to the show. If you go there, you might see where I got the inspiration for the name of my blog.

Well, as for the pizza... if you have ever had real NY pizza, you know what I am talking about. I had rice for dinner. No curry, no nothing, just rice. Maybe that explains why I am thinking about the pizza. If you are in New York right now (you know who you are), eat a slice for me, please. If you have a picture of me handy, don't hesitate to take it with you. I like am partial to sausage, white and anything with a good helping of basil.

Insert clever title here

Before I say anything else, let me just say, "Go Seahawks!" Ok, I said it. I have to confess that I am pretty darn excited about the Hawks first trip to the Super Bowl. When I was a kid, there were certain things that were just accepted: the Mariners would never go to the World Series, and the Seahawks would never go to the Super Bowl. Now if the M's could only prove me completely wrong. Patience, I know, patience. Obviously, I am picking Seattle to win, but the Steelers won't be easy to beat. They are the "team of destiny." They want it bad. Well, so do we. There aren't many things that get Seattleites going (other than double tall non-fat caramel macchiatos), but having lived through the '95 Mariners, I know how crazy Seattle can get about its sports. It is electric. Forget the fact that we are in the middle of nowhere (sports-wise), forget the fact that Seattle has only won one major championship (the '79 Sonics... OK, the Storm won too), all of that means aboslutely nothing. Anything can happen in the Super Bowl.

We become our parents

Well folks, if you haven't realized this before, we really do become our parents. Now, I don't necessarily consider this to be a bad thing. I consider it a compliment to be called my father's son. But there is an aspect of this that I find troubling. I have always considered that one of my greatest character traits was my taste in music (which might be troubling in and of itself). I think I have a pretty good handle on what is "good" music and what is "bad" music. But I have also indulged in my share of guilty pleasures (ABBA, Themes from James Bond Movies, the original "Lady Marmalade"). So, I have a new guilty pleasure thanks to my father. When I woke up this morning with "Cracklin' Rosie" stuck in my head (who knows how it got there), I realized that I kind of like Neil Diamond. You don't know how painful it is to admit that, but the truth must be spoken. As a Red Sox fan, I can justify liking "Sweet Caroline," but I don't think there is any way to justify my blasting "Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show" and dancing like a fool. Now don't get me wrong, he isn't nor ever will be my favorite, but sometimes I just can't help myself. Blast you, Mr. Diamond. Blast you.

NewsRadio on the couch

Well, I'm sleeping on the couch tonight (and not doing a very good job of it according to the time stamp). My roomate is sick and having a hard time sleeping, so I'm keeping away. But I am watching one of my favorite shows while I type this. That's right: NewsRadio. I won't regale you with the details of how much I like the show, but what a great cast! Well anyway... here are some of my favorite quotes:

Bill: "How come no one thinks I'm funny?"
Lisa: "How come no one thinks I'm female?"
Bill: "We're misunderstood, I suppose. That's why guys like you and me gotta hang together."

BILL: "Women, can't live with them."

DAVE: Can't live without them?"

BILL: "I don't know about that part... especially when they're sneaking around behind your back.."

JIMMY: "I am a cipher, cipher....wrapped in an enigma, smothered in secret sauce..."

BETH: "I did NOT get into this business to make photocopies on just plain white paper... I just didn't."

BILL: (To his cigarettes) These guys are my little friends. They're always there when I need them. My reliable little buddies."
DAVE: "Hey Bill, I'm your friend."
BILL: "Yeah? Where were you last night around 3 AM when I was watching Steel Magnolias and crying my eyes out?"
(LATER)
BILL: "If you ever tell anyone about Steel Magnolias, I'll kill you. It would take a robot not to cry at that movie."

Anyway, hope you enjoy.

Behind the Music

So the mail key is lost. I'm sure you know what that means. Yeah, we have to wait for the landlord to make us a new one. So the mail gets checked infrequently these days. So it wasn't until yesterday that I got one of the coolest things to ever come into my mailbox. It was the Miller 10 CD. I realize that few of you will fully appreciate the majestic splendor of such a thing, but for those of you who do, you understand why I am posting news of its arrival to my new blog. So, to Casey, Tom, Michelle and especially Daniel, thanks. As I was listening to it, the new things that Daniel added gave me an idea. I have some video clips from that night, which I want to get to you guys, but maybe as as little video documentary. Something like "VH1 presents: Behind the music of Miller 10." It is just an idea right now, but I think it has potential. Let me know what you think.