Thursday, June 08, 2006

Honor Code 2.0

Note: Some readers may find this post offensive and my views heretical. To you I say, move out of Provo. Please.

If you are still reading, let me congratulate you on being a risk-taker. A real devil-may-care, living-on-the-edge, hyphenation-abusing kind of person. That being said, let me launch right in to this post.

Like many recently graduated BYU students, I am facing one of the greatest dilemmas of my life. No, it's not what to do with the rest of my life. That's a question that, thanks to grad school, I don't have to answer for a while. It is the question of what to do now that I don't have to live the Honor Code. Add to that the fact that I am pretty much moving to Soddom and Gamorrah and I guess I am a "dead man walking," as it were. So, what am I to do?

Well, all joking aside (for a moment), I really don't have a problem with the Honor Code. It's pretty much how I have always chosen to live my life. I know, I know. I'm pretty perfect, aren't I? (OK, humor is back). So here is my solution to the great dilemma of dilemmas. I like to call it Honor Code 2.0: Lost In New York. Pretty much it looks like the original with these changes:

1) The bathroom. The honor code states: "The use of the bathroom area by members of the opposite sex is not appropriate unless emergency or civility dictate otherwise; and then only if the safety, privacy and sensitivity of other residents are not jeopardized." Pretty sure I'm not going to send a girl to the neighbors to take a pee. I have a feeling she wouldn't come back.

2) Curfew. I really don't have a problem with this one, and don't intend on breaking it just because I can. I have never seen the point in sticking around someone's place until way too late but, I won't kick anyone out if the movie isn't finished.

3) Facial Hair. Yeah, that's the big one. Here are my changes to the facial hair category: Mustaches (or mustachios if you prefer) are banned, even if they do not extend beyond the corners of your mouth. Neatly trimmed goatees, beards, etc. are allowed. But only if they make you look sexy.

So there it is, Honor Code 2.0. Call me a rebel, if you like but you'd be wrong since I was a Kang.