I Love Planes

Seattle is the birthplace of Boeing, and growing up in Seattle means you probably know someone who works for them. I certainly did. Well, one of the great benefits of living around Boeing is that the Museum of Flight is just down the road at Boeing Field. While at home for Christmas, my Dad and I took a trip there and I took some photos. I've been meaning to post them for awhile, so without any further ado, here they are!

When we got there, the first thing we did was go across the street to see some of the coolest planes that they have. Up first is the Concorde.
Sorry about not getting the plane all in one shot, but the Concorde is huge! Unlike most planes you can stand under it because it has a ground clearance of at least 8 feet. And, when you are under there, you realize how much this plane is just one big wing. Once you get inside (sorry, no pics as my camera was low on batteries and there was a lot more to see) you realize how small the plane is. What?! Yeah, just check out the windows in the shot above. They are tiny. Luckily the plane stretches when it reaches cruising speed, but not that much... What a cool plane. Too bad I couldn't have flown on one.

After the Concorde, we went on to something that I was really looking forward to, Air Force One.That's my dad standing outside of SAM-970, which was the first jet powered Air Force One. SAM-970 is a Boeing 707-120 and was delivered to Pres. Eisenhower in 1959. Two others (SAM-971 and SAM-972) were also recieved by Eisenhower and I assume shared the duty as AF One, but since it has the earlier registration number, I'm saying (as does the Museum of Flight) that it was the first. It wasn't the main Air Force One for long and was replaced in 1962 by a long range 707 (SAM-26000), which is "officially" the first jet powered AF One, but why that is, who knows. After the 26000 became AF One, the 970 was kept to fly the VP around (as Air Force Two) and to fly VIP's like when Nikita Khrushchev toured the USA. This was also the plane that LBJ flew to Dallas in (he would return on the 26000 for obvious reasons) and the plane that Nixon took to China. Here's a map of some of the other trips that it took:
I know this is going to sound pretty lame, but it was cool to be on a plane that so many historic figures had been on. Interesting note, the back of the plane is much like first class but instead of overhead compartments, there are pull-down sleeping bunks. Toward the front there is a conference room
and further up is the President's office
If you look at the lower right hand corner of the photo, you can see some interesting Presidential knick-knacks.
Cool, JFK's pipe rack and a presidential cup holder! Looks pretty high-tech. I can only imagine what W's cup holder is like. It probably fits a double gulp.

There are a few other planes at the "Airpark" including the first 747 and the first 737 ever produced, but no photos, so let's move on to the main museum specifically the Great Gallery. Here are some pictures of what that looks like as you walk in:


Pretty impressive, huh? Well we made the rounds and I'll show you a few of the highlights. First up was a replica of a Gee Bee, which was a racing plane.

Perhaps you remember this plane from a movie? Perhaps The Rocketeer? Well, if you do, you are right. I loved The Rocketeer when I was younger, so seeing this was kind of a treat.

Next we checked out this F-4C Phantom II. Pretty awesome, if you ask me.
Next up was the Lockheed F-104C Starfighter, considered to be a "sports car" of airplanes (also known as a flying lawn dart because of its crash frequency):
Finishing up our circle around the Great Gallery, I spotted this:
It's an RQ-3 Dark Star, an unmanned spy plane. It looks really crazy (you can see it in the first two shots of the Great Gallery). Apparently it has never flown a real mission, but according to Wikipedia (I know, I know...) it is now something of a "black project." Cool.

The highlight of the Great Gallery has to be the Blackbird. When I was a kid, this plane was one of the coolest.
If you are a real Blackbird buff, you'll notice that this one looks a little bit different than most. That's because it's not the SR-71 Blackbird that we all seem to know and love, but this one is actually the only surviving M-21 Blackbird. The story of the Blackbird is a complicated one involving the CIA and military, so I'll let you go to Wikipedia to learn more, but here are a few of the differences in a nutshell: The M-21 is lacking the second set of windows behind the cockpit and there is that weird missile-like thing at the back that the other Blackbirds lack. That missile-like thing is actually the D-21 drone ("D" for Daughter, making the "M" in M-21 stand for Mother). The D-21 is a ramjet powered spy drone that was meant to be launched from the back of the Blackbird mid-flight. Being unmanned, it was much more expendable than the M-21 and being smaller, it was stealthier. Once it took its photos, it would jettison its camera over the ocean (which would be caught mid-air by a US plane - pretty neat trick) and then self-destruct. It never really worked all that well (one test launch actually caused the crash of the other M-21) so it only was used on 4 missions (which, again, didn't work that well). Eventually spy satellites made the D-21 obsolete and the program was abandoned.

As my Dad and I left, we checked out some of the other planes on display outside - a Harrier (not pictured), this A-6E Intruder:
and one of my personal favorites, the F-14A. I'm still mourning Goose's death...

The last thing we saw before rolling out was this Fiat/Aeritalia G.91 Gina.

It looks pretty goofy sitting next to the F-14A (especially in those colors, but, hey, I'm not Italian). It was in use for about 35 years, so I guess it was a pretty good plane.

Well, there it is folks, my longest post ever. I hope it was worth it, because the Museum of Flight is pretty rad. To tell the truth, I hardly scratched the surface of what is there (I completely skipped the space section and the WWII fighter section). So, if you are ever in Seattle, go. It will be the best $10 you will spend (at a museum about planes).

Minor Celebrity Sighting (possibly)

So, I work at NYU Med Center, and you don't usually see too many famous people around there (well, at least, I don't), but as I was leaving today I saw someone that I thought was worth mentioning - if it really was him. His name is Earle Hyman, and for those of you who don't know him by that name, let me throw a few more at ya. Here's one: Panthro. Here's another: Russell Huxtable. Yes, he played Bill Cosby's dad on The Cosby Show. Here's a picture for you:

Oh, and I'm also watching Deal or No Deal right now, and this very attractive contestant is playing. You know how most of the contestants are kind of weird? Yeah, you think she is going to buck the trend, but then she says she is really in to Hanson. Ugh. So, of course Hanson is helping her pick out cases (can't really turn down a gig if you are Hanson, eh?). I feel bad for her.

Did you know that they are all married and the middle one has 3 kids?! I guess some ladies like the mmm-bop.

Music of the Moment

Man, I'm still stiff from the Wii-a-thon. Luckily, I have some good music to help me through it. So, here's the facts:

Artist: Django Reinhardt
Track: Belleville

Django is one of those artists that you probably never have heard of, but I can almost guarantee that you have heard. His music is a favorite in the movies (The Matrix, Gattaca, Chocolat, L.A. Story, The Aviator, Swing Kids and several Woody Allen movies, just to name a few). His music is just great. So, in short, check him out!

Also, as a way of celebrating the return of MotM, I'm adding a new category: "Setting." This category will describe what I think is the perfect setting to listen to the artist in. So, without further ado...

Setting: Dinner with that Special Someone

Best DVD Release That You Probably Missed

OK, so forgive me for stealing the titling rubric from Steady Mobbin' but it seems to fit here. Perhaps we can consider it an homage. Anyway, a great new DVD came out today and most of you probably missed it. It's called My Hero and it's one of the silliest comedies that I have ever seen.
It's a spoof about a superhero adjusting (unsuccessfully) to life on earth. Good times. It's from the BBC, which maybe gives you a better idea of what it is like, but then again, maybe not. Anyway, check it out. It's good fun. I'll be watching it trying to kill the soreness from yesterday's Wii-a-thon.

My thoughts on the iPhone

Hmm... do I even dare tackle this subject? Yes, but only briefly and in the broadest of strokes. I think it is only fair to tell you all that I was practically crying with joy during the keynote address (I'm suck a dork), because I had been following the iPhone rumors pretty heavily and it exceeded my expectations in just about every way. Well, that euphoria has now passed and there is a lot that is being said about this device, both good and bad. The good: great UI and good set of features make this a phone that I think will function well as a replacement to your cell, iPod and basic PDA. The bad: One carrier, no 3rd party applications (probably the only big gripe that I have about it), small disc space (which for music is ok, but for movies and TV? Well, with its battery life, the size might not be such a big deal). Most of the other complaints that have much more to do with the company than the phone. A lot of them sound something like this: "the iTunes DRM scheme sucks, the iPhone uses the iTunes DRM scheme, therefore, by the transitive property, the iPhone sucks." I think that it is clear that the iPhone is quickly becoming the poster child of everything that is good and bad about Apple Inc. because these arguments are the same ones that have been going around for a long time. Cool. Use the buzz to promote your ideas. I have no problem with that. But, let's not get so caught up in company politics to forget that the iPhone is a pretty nice (though not perfect) piece of equipment.

Bit O' Biology

As I was studying tonight, I learned something interesting. OK, please don't leave just yet, I promise this will be good.
In everything from fruit flies to humans there is a biochemical pathway called the Hedgehog pathway. It is a pretty important pathway that helps regulate stem cells and tissue growth. There are several genes that are a part of this pathway, the most famous of which (and the most common one found in mammals) is called,

Sonic Hedgehog!

Yup, it's named for the video game character. And it also has something to do with hair growth (when the pathway is stimulated in the skin). This isn't the only time that a video game has provided a gene name. This one didn't turn out so well.

Latest Shirt I Am Proud To Own

I've bought too many shirts lately, but here's to another that I have recently paid (too much) for:But, Ninjas are cool.

This is what I do with my free time

I'll copy Jeff and just put up a little blurb about the 12th Street Guitar Fanciers' Association. I'm proud to have been the first one to arrive and put my guitar skillz to use. Check out all the action over at Steady Mobbin'.

My New Shirts

I've bought way too many shirts online these past few days...

The legality of apple cider

My roommate and I were having a discussion about what makes apple cider "cider" and not juice. We were stumped. This highly accurate source told us that cider is the tarter, cloudier version of apple juice, and then proceeded to amaze us with this remark (click to enlarge):


Not legally well established? Well, I suppose that one of you lawyer types should get on that. I can only imagine that this gray area of the law ripe and ready for picking, as it were...

I say a lot of stupid things...

Boy, I say a lot of stupid crap.

Do you ever have those moments when you think back on things and realize how dumb you sounded? That happens to me a lot. Why am I telling you all this? Well, mainly because we all know that it is true.

So, if you think back on things and realize that I have said something completely blockheaded, lame or otherwise moronic, rest assured that I've probably realized it as well. Let's face it, I'll never bat 1.000. I'm always going to say dumb things once in awhile - we all do. But, here's to hoping that my batting average will improve.

Things I Think About When I'm Studying

It's test time, which means more random thoughts than normal.


Movies that will probably never be made
Love and Skeletor
The Bob Ross Story starring Tony Shaloub
Zamfir: The Musical

People that should never have a talk show
Ashton Kutcher
Gallagher
The Kool-Aid Man

People that should have a talk show
Lao Tzu
The guy from the Micro Machines commericals
Peter Frampton (provided that all interviews be carried out using the talk box)

Crazy or horribly sane? You be the judge.

I'm Kilroy!

I don't know how many of you out there watch My Name Is Earl, but I caught the tail end of last week's episode while watching last week's episode of The Office at lunch today. It's so much better in hi-def, but I think you'll get the idea. Hilarious!

The Many Moods of Dave

Since I'm a relatively new person to most of my readers, I thought a primer into the many moods of Dave might you all get to know me just a little bit better.

Feelin' Tough/Sleepy











Awesome skills + tough look = 1 Bad Dude


Feeling Non-Conversational










Sloth love Chunk!


Feeling Old










Prematurely old, in fact...


Angry, like when your elevator stops at EVERY floor and you are in a hurry...










Beware my wrath!

Early In The Morning

Here's an idea of what I wake up to every morning:




















Not too shabby, eh?

Of All The Things You Could Say...

Saw this on the way home from Church today:
















Now that's one drunk who is free of self-deception!

Song of the Moment

Artist: Blossom Dearie
Album:Verve Jazz Masters 51
Track: Rhode Island is Famous for You

Blossom Dearie (yes, that is her real name) has been a favorite of mine for a long time. Some say she isn't a real jazz singer, that she's more of a supper club singer. Whatever. She's got a great voice (many describe it as girlish - that's meant in a good way), and this track has a lot of humor to it. I can't help but smile when I listen to Blossom, so if you are looking for some feel good music, give her a shot.

Sexism... Tasty!

Boy, those Brits really know how to make a candy bar, don't they? Introducing Yorkie, the only candy bar they can't sell in the US because of Title IX! Click on the picture for more political incorrectness!

Song of the Moment

Being a conscientious blogger (read: one who knows his blog needs a lot of improvement), I am always looking for ways to make this a better read. For this reason, I have decided to add a little segment to this blog called "Song of the Moment" where I basically tell you what I like right now and why I like it. Why me? Why now? Well, I just figured that since my musical tastes are a bit different from most people that I know, this might be a good way for me to expose you all to some new music. Maybe you will like the song, maybe you won't - I won't bat 1.000, doesn't matter. I would love to hear from you all about whether or not this little segment works, and what you think about these tunes if you end up checking them out.

So, to start things off I've got a little bit of punk for you.

Track: Ring of Fire
Artist: Social Distortion
Album: Social Distortion

OK, so I don't really listen to these guys other than this track. It pretty much proves my point that there are some songs (this one by Johnny Cash) can be turned into kick butt punk tunes. I highly reccomend busting out some wicked awesome air guitar moves when you listen to it. I also think that Follow the Prophet would make an excellent punk tune, so you might not want to completely trust my judgement...

It's True!

From Personal Photos

See? I did have hair once!

Elf Sociology

So, I am taking this class called Statistical Mechanics. What is that, you ask? Doesn't the title give it away? Well, for those of you who aren't on the boat yet, let me add that it really should be called Statistical Thermodynamics. Got it now?

Well anyway, I got to class this morning and we began talking about the Sociology of Elves. Hmm... Can you see why I am confused?

Halfway Halloween

Halloween is coming soon. I'm not a big fan, nor am I a big fan of scary movies - they just don't do anything for me. They either don't scare me at all because they seem to ridiculous, or they don't leave me feeling all that good. Well, in an attempt to be less of a wet blanket this Halloween season, I've compiled a list of movies that I do like that might work as alternatives to the standard Halloween fare. So, without further ado I present:

(Semi) Scary Movies That I Happen To Like

1. Monsters, Inc. - OK, not a scary movie, but it works.
2. Clue - Creepy mansion + mass murders + multiple endings = good clean fun.
3. The Goonies - C'mon, didn't sloth give you nightmares as a kid?
4. Wait Until Dark - Good creepy thriller. Watch with the lights out.
5. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom - Darkest one of the three, but Indy still wins
6. Rear Window - Really a thriller rather than a scary movie, but it will give you chills
7. Young Frankenstein - Great comedy version of the Frankenstein story. Mel Brooks at his finest.
8. Red Eye - Cillian Murphy will never play a romantic lead.
9. Ghostbusters - The ultimate feel good creepy movie. Total classic.

Well, I hope that give all of you non-scary movie people some Halloween alternatives. Enjoy - you wussies.

Forwarded Emails

I'm sure some of you out there will feel the same way I feel about this, but I hate forwarded emails. Let me clarify, I hate stupid forwarded emails. There are a few kinds, but I am only going to list the ones that I find particularly heinous, and they are (in order of increasing annoyance):

1. Surveys: Not particularly offensive, but heinous because of the time I actually waste on these every once in awhile.
2. Chain letters: Ãœberlame. How anyone could believe that the outcome of their lives could be changed by sending or not sending it on is beyond me.
3. Voting/Petitions: These are getting to the point of really bugging me. When people say, "Here's a link to vote for <insert name here> as Person of the Year/Decade/Century in <insert name of magazine/tv program/website here>" I get really steamed. Most of the ones that I get are an attempt at getting religious figures at the top and are accompanied by a paragraph indicating to me that if I don't vote early and vote often, I am not a true Christian/Mormon/Human Being. I hate to break it to you all, but the best way to show your beliefs is not to vote your leaders to the top, but to listen to and live their teachings.
4. Misquotes: These are the worst. At one time I taught a class on how to teach Sunday School. When we got to the section about keeping the doctrine that we teach pure, I let them know that the biggest error that a religious teacher can make is to misquote or incorrectly paraphrase a scripture or the teachings of Church leaders. I hate the phrase, "A General Authority once said..." Most people don't intend on passing faulty information or half-truths to others, but that is often what they do after uttering those words. My rule of thumb is, if you don't know who said it, don't say it. If you think someone said it, find out, and share it next time. Too often I get emails that contain misquotes, or completely false statements attributed to some famous person. I got one today from a friend (the reason for my rant). It was a quote from Ben Stein about Christmas, and I liked the first half, but then the second half changed tone and became a bit more accusatory. I usually regard all forwards of this type as being fabrications, but since I like Ben Stein and I liked the first half of what he supposedly said, I looked in to this one. I found that the first half was indeed something he said. The second half, however, was something that had been added by someone or a group of someones somewhere, sometime. Are you seeing the holes in quality control here? People, when are you going to learn that just because something is on the internet or in an email doesn't make it the truth! I know it is easier to just click "forward" than to check the facts, but don't do it! Be educated! Learn to say things for yourself, and you will have something of your own to send to people! I am using too many exclamation points! Well, since I am using too many exclamation points, I had better get off the soapbox...

My Name is D... Scrumpestuous D

Now for some news that is still sending spasms of delight through my body at random intervals - the rerelease of all 20 James Bond movies in 2 disc, fully remastered Ultimate Editions. Pretty cool, huh? Well, in an attempt to spread some of this delight, here is a little teaser for you:





















Hope you enjoyed that. I think I am going to head on over to Amazon.com right now...

Retrocrush

I still remember my first date. We had dinner at her apartment, and then a sunset walk along the shores of Lake Washington. We fed the seagulls, enjoyed the night air and then stopped off for a little dessert. She bought me an Almond Joy bar. It was cute. Life seemed pretty good at the time - until she decided to go on a mission. I was crushed. I was also 5 years old.

Fast forward 20 years. Though I am still reeling from that initial rejection, I still get crushes on girls (I should say women, but crushes on women sounds funny), but it's just not the same anymore. So, in an attempt at capturing some of that retrocrush magic, I'm taking a trip down memory lane. As a kid, I can't remember having that many crushes on real girls. Most of the time, I would see girls/women on TV and think they were really pretty or really cool... as you can see, I was a discerning little boy. Anyway, here's a little list just to give you an idea of what was going through that hair-covered, pre-pubescent little head of mine.



First on the list is Wonder Woman. Man, I used to watch that show all the friggin' time. Surprisingly enough, it wasn't the costume that did it for me. Being 6, it was pretty much a non-issue. I liked her because she kicked booty, not because I liked her booty. What kid wouldn't love a girl with power bracelets, a magic lasso and an invisible plane?



Next up on the hit parade is Daisy Duke. My mom really liked watching the Dukes (still does. In fact, she taped the reunion show a few years ago), and naturally, I watched along. It wasn't the Hot Pants. I had no concept of what Hot Pants were, I guess I just thought she was nice. And let's not forget, she had a jeep.



I had a crush twice over for the last lady on my list, first as Col. Wilma Deering on Buck Rogers and later as Kate Summers on Silver Spoons. Yes, I am talking about the one and only Erin Gray. There are many things that I could possibly say about her characters, but I think I can sum it up by saying that even at a tender young age I realized that if a foxy lady such as Kate Summers could marry a dweeb like Edward Stratton III, there was hope. Plus she knew how to fly a spaceship.

D's Big Adventure

Today was crazy. Last night I noticed that the AC adapter for my beloved PowerBook began sparking. Well, one of the wires was frayed and in the interest of not burning down my apartment (and thereby not getting my deposit back), I decided to get a new one. This meant going to one of 3 places - the Apple store in SoHo, the NYU Computer store, or the Apple Store on 5th Ave. Now, I have been to the first, there was no guarantee that the second would have the part in stock, and I had never been to the third. So, off I went to the 5th Ave location - walking. I started at 30th and 1st Ave and walked to 5th Ave and 59th Street. Now, for those of you not living in NYC, that is a pretty decent walk. After passing Grand Central Terminal and a few other New York landmarks along the way, I finally got to the Apple Store. What a place! I wandered for a bit, and finally found the adapter (last one in stock, lucky me!), and noticed something interesting about the store - there are no cash registers. At least none that I could see. Well, I think that one of the workers noticed my confusion and walked up to me with a little handheld device and offered to check me out. He scanned the item, swiped my card and verified my email so they could send me the reciept. How cool! Right in the middle of the store! I'm gushing!

Well, this is when things got a bit more interesting. Leaving the store, I began to plan my route back to the apartment and I decided to walk past the UN on the way home. Whoops. I guess I should have been more up on current affairs. I completely forgot that the President of Iran was speaking there today (and Pres. Bush, btw), and security was high. In fact I was pretty much the only person I saw that wasn't either with the NYPD, Secret Service, or had a UN ID. I have to admit that the aura of international intrigue surrounding the situation caused visions of 24 to float through my head... OK, so I watch too much TV.

On a more humorous note, as I was walking down 57th I had a major flash from the past, namely one Mr. Juan Valdez and his donkey, who have apparently opened a coffee shop together. Remember that guy? He was always showing up in the most ridiculous places (kitchen windows, bathrooms) in his commercials just to let people know that he picked their coffee beans (not some stupid mermaid). I wonder how many times he got arrested for trespassing (Honey! Get your gun, that Colombian guy and his donkey are back and they trampled my petunias!). Editor's note: The author of this blog does not condone in any way the threatening or harming of Colombians. He likes Colombians. Especially Shakira.

Blinded By The Light

The song Blinded By The Light, originally by Bruce Springsteen but made famous by Manfred Mann's Earth Band is a veritable treasure trove of misunderstood lyrics. I don't care how much you listen to it and try to figure out what they are saying, he says "douche." That's right, douche. The Springsteen version says "deuce," referring to a 1932 Ford Deuce Coupe (like the Beach Boys song Little Deuce Coupe), but this version is clearly douche just like Johnny RIvers sings "secret asian man" and Jimi Hendrix sings "excuse me while I kiss this guy." I'm also pretty sure that they use the word "anus" in Blinded By The Light, but what do you expect from a song that has lyrics like:

And go-kart Mozart was checkin' out the weather charts
see if it was safe outside
And little early burly came by in his curly whirly
and asked me if I needed a ride.

Perfect Scenario

In the murky recesses of my mind, I have hidden away a whole collection of "perfect scenarios." Maybe you know the kind of scenarios that I am talking about. They are the ones labeled, "I'll be perfectly happy when..." Well, moving to the city has sort of given me the opportunity to reflect on where I have been and where I want to go, and in the process, I've realized that I don't know why these scenarios are hidden all the way back in the murky recesses of my mind. There's nothing wrong with them, and they at least deserve a spot in the fluorescently-lit cubicles of my mind if not a full blown position on the breathtaking mountaintops of my mind. My only fear is that the move request will end up on the desk of the middle manager of my mind and the whole process will get so caught up in bureaucratic red tape that the filing cabinet where my scenarios are stored will end up in the sapphire pools of someone else's mind, and they will be forever lost to me because the email program of my mind sent the tracking information to the junk folder. Man, that would be a mess. Well, in an attempt to avoid all that bureaucratic mumbo-jumbo, from time to time I may throw a few scenarios up here on the old blog. Just to show you all that I'm not kidding, here is one of them:

Me and my signifigant other are sitting on the porch of our beach house, sipping lemonade, staring at the ocean and enjoying the afternoon breeze. The last key to the scenario is music. Almost every one of these scenarios includes music, and in this one it's Nat King Cole. If you too can see yourself in that situation within the next few (I use that word lightly) years, and are a member of the female persuasion, call me at...

Now, now, you didn't think I was actually going to do it, did you?

The Sound of Silence

I was talking to some friends last night about the subject of talking. The conversation went something like this:

Me: I talk too much.
Others: Yes you do.

It wasn't much of a conversation. Later that evening, waiting for the bus, I realized that I really am afraid of silence. There are probably several reasons why, but I still haven't figured out what they are. Now, there is a principle here that I should have learned a long time ago. I am a huge fan of Jazz, and there was a time that I played decent Jazz trumpet (sadly, it's been almost 2 years since I was playing regularly). Well, when learning how to play an improvised solo, there is this pressure to fill every beat with notes, either to show everyone that you can play well, or out of fear of losing their interest. But as you may have guessed, the experienced soloist knows that empty space (silence) in a solo is equally as important as the space that you fill. I've got another jazz principle having to do with falling on your face, but that will have to wait for some other time.

Simpler Times

So, I have spent most of the night celebrating Mexican Independence Day watching American sitcoms. Go figure. Well, as sort of a one man afterparty, I decided to - wait for it - watch more TV! Currently, I am watching an old show that I loved as a kid, Benson. Boy, the sitcom has changed since 1982. Then again, maybe not. Here's the story so far...

Benson, the Lieutenant Governor (formerly the butler to the Governor - congrats on the promotion) needs to go to a BIG meeting in a town 5 hours away, and the silly cook, who has apparently become some kind of secretary since I was eight, forgets to buy plane tickets. So, Benson and the cook/secretary drive off in the night to get there, but (you ready?) they head in the wrong direction! And to make things worse, the cook/secretary was told not to take the blue sedan, and guess what - she took the blue sedan! Ha ha ha. So, now that they are stuck in this repair shop/diner, the cook/secretary takes a job as waitress! Ha! What will they think of next? Well, I'm not going to bore you with the rest of the plot (as I'm probably not going to finish the rest of the show), but I'm sure that in the end, Benson will get to the meeting and hilarity will ensue.

Well, enough ragging on old shows. They do have some good things about them. Like kick @$* theme songs. Man, I love that bari sax...

I Hate Halloween

I really do. I loved the candy as a kid, and I did enjoy dressing up way back when (I particularly liked the space alien costume my Mom made for me in the 1st grade), but not anymore. Yet, this year, I find myself actually looking forward to getting dressed up and... well, let's be honest, probably just sitting in my apartment. Regardless, I do have some ideas, and I thought that I would just put them out there on the net for all (1) of my readers to enjoy. So, without further ado, let me present:

Scrumpestuous D's List of Costumes and Other Fancy Clothes

(Nice use of color and bold, don't you think?)

1. Dr. Evil - You see, I am bald and evil, so it's a perfect fit right? The only drawback is the scar. I don't have one and can't stand having things stuck/painted/glued to my face. It's weird, I know. I hated facepainters as a child.
2. The Skipper - I would go as Gilligan, but I'm not a bony dope. So the natural next choice is the Skipper. Blue Polo, khakis and a hat and all I would need to complete it is a Mary Ann...
3. George Jetson - Probably not going to happen, but how cool would it be?
4. Baseball Player - This is my old standby. I think I did this 3 years in a row once. I wouldn't mind busting out the old jersey.
5. Daddy Warbucks - This was actually a suggestion from last year. I had a friend who was short, redheaded and spunky (possible doctoral dissertation: genetic link between readheadedness and spunk), and we all thought it would be a hoot and a half (she was short, remember?) if we went as Little Orphan Annie and Daddy Warbucks. I thought it was a great idea, but it never happened. If I could find an Annie, this one would be high on the list.
6. Kojak - I love this idea, but I'm afraid that I would spend the evening explaining who I was. I already have the hat, I could score some glasses easily enough and have a few good ties, all I would really need is a bag of dum-dum's.
7. Football Player - Pretty much the same as #4, but gives me an excuse to buy a Seahawks jersey.
8. Curly - Needs a Larry and Moe
9. Laurel and Hardy - I love these guys. Where could I find a skinny dopey-looking partner?
   

End of Costumes and Fancy Clothes Section!

Well, that about does it for this time. Feel free to leave your comments at the bottom so that all (1) my readers can enjoy them.

Royal Flush

I have a dream.

How many times do you find yourself sitting in the bathroom with absolutely nothing to do? Well, I guess that quite often you are doing something, but that doesn't take a whole lot of concentration now does it? Well, people have many ideas about how to fill that dead time such as:

• Reading the newspaper
• Reading Sports Illustrated
• Reading the back of your shampoo bottle
• Talking on a cell phone (you know who you are...)

Well, I plan on taking things to the next level - TV. For years we have had the TV, and now we have them built for ouur kitchens and our cars, and why not have one in the bathroom? I hear Samuel L. Jackson even has a TiVo in his bathroom, and he never misses on a good idea...

There is also a plan for a TV in the shower, but it is a bit more complicated, but nothing says royal treatment more than exfoliating facial scrub and CNN - AT THE SAME TIME! There really is only one drawback to this whole plan, and that's the end of the mid-shower epiphany. But, sometimes you can't have it all.

More Apologies

Well, now that I have no readers anymore, it's high time to continue filling up the internet with worthless crap! The reason (excuse) for not having written in a while is that I have been "getting used to" my new place in good old New York City. Perhaps starting grad school has something to do with it as well, but probably not...

So, NYC is great, and with the change of scenery I have decided to explain what this blog is all about. Well, pretty much it is about nothing, which is what most blogs are about. Which makes me wonder...

most blogs are about nothing...

Seinfeld was a show about nothing...

therefore most blogs are about Seinfeld!

Ok, I've got another one:

God is love...
Love is blind...
Stevie Wonder is blind...
Therefore Stevie Wonder is God! Man, he's so awesome! Very superstitious...

Hmm... perhaps there is something wrong with my logic. Well, one last question that I get all the time (lie) is what does the word "scrumpestuous" mean. Well, it's sort of a mish-mash (a portmanteau, if you want to get technical) of several words, including and not limited to:

Scrumptious
Stupendous
Delicious
Erudite
Suave
Handsome
Classy
Stud-muffin
Rad-i-cool
Fahrvergnügen
Sensitive 90's man and
absquatulate

But, feel free to add your own. The meaning can't really be expressed in words, but it is pretty much synonomous with "cool".

D's Top Ten Movies #5 - Raiders of the Lost Ark

I was born in 1980, and Raiders came out in 1981. I can't honestly remember when the first time I became aware of Indiana Jones was, although it was probably by watching the movies with my brother. In my mind, this movie is an all time classic and the best of the series.

I won't spend any time on the plot (I guess I usually don't do that anyway), but I'll just throw a few of my thoughts out on the table. I really think that every movie presents a different version of Indy. Of all of them, I really like the one that is presented in Raiders. Though there are serious moments, the movie is pretty lighthearted overall and flows nicely. It would have been nice to see a bit (not much) more romance between Indy and Marion, but it worked out well. The last thing that I want to say has to do with the ending. As much as I love Indiana Jones, and I know that most everything he does falls within that region of "suspended disbelief," I have the hardest time believing that in order to escape the wrath of God, all you need to do is close your eyes. If you don't know what I am talking about, watch it again. Let me know how you feel.

D's Top Ten Movies #6 - So I Married An Axe Murderer

When this movie first came out, I was 12 and my best friend wanted to go see this for his birthday. My Mom wasn't so excited about that idea, thinking this was some kind of slasher movie or something. Well, it took me about 10 years before I actually saw this movie and it was worth it. This is one of the few movies that I can sit down and watch at any time (another one is coming up later on in the list). I don't know why that is, but I just never get tired of this one.

Not having seen this movie until I was in college, it ended up being one that I quoted before ever even seeing. Lines like "oohh, you're gonna buy my chicken, aren't ye," and "Head! Pants! Now!" were flying around my college dorm room and apartments to the point that I felt that if I ever saw the movie, I would be sorely disappointed because I already knew all the funny parts. Well, I'm glad that it turned out I was wrong.

I don't claim that this movie is one of the greats. In fact, the rottentomatoes.com cream of the crop rating puts it at 20% fresh, which is easily the lowest rating on this list (stay tuned for a listing of all the ratings on this list). I can live with that. This isn't anything more than another Mike Meyers movie, yet it always seems funny to me. Perhaps it is because he plays a rather normal guy as opposed to his usual outrageous characters. Perhaps I can identify with having a quirky family (we all have relatives that are just a little off...). Or perhaps it just has to do with it taking place in San Francisco. Who knows. Either way, I would recommend this movie to anyone. It's funny, it's kinda got heart, and the lines are so gosh-darn quoteable.

D's Top Ten Movies #7 - The Pink Panther Strikes Again

I don't know that I am going to say much about this movie in this post. I'll probably just leave it to you out there to go out and see it. I have to say that I love all of the Pink Panther movies. I got it from my Mom, who introduced them to me as a child. I probably could have replaced Strikes Again with Return of the Pink Panther or A Shot in the Dark, which are both great movies, but Strikes Again is the one that I remember most from my childhood, so it gets to represent the series in the number seven slot.

There isn't much to the plot of this movie (or indeed to the plots of any of the movies), but the execution of them is so funny. From the bad french accent ("the minkey") to the endless attempts by Cato to attack Clousseau, to the incessant cries from Dreyfuss for Clousseau's life, any of these movies will have you laughing until your sides hurt. I highly reccommend that if you haven't seen any of these movies, go out and rent one today. Don't worry about Trail of the Pink Panther as it is a horrible mishmash of clips from other movies put together after Peter Sellers' death. But any of the other Sellers Panther movies will be a real treat. But you don't have to take my word for it...

D's Top Ten Movies #8 - The Incredibles

This would probably be the most debated movie on my list, if people were actually debating my movie picks. I guess a lot of the reason why I like this movie has to do with my childhood love of comics and superheroes. I still have a decently large collection of comics at my parents house consisting mostly of X-Men, with a heathly dose of Superman, Spider-Man, and Batman thrown in for good measure. Mix with that my love of all things Pixar, and you've got a winner.

The great thing about the Pixar movies is that the stories are just so much fun. Too often I see movies that are just too much about effects, and you would think that with the technology available to them, it would be easy to go all out on a superhero pic and ignore the storyline. Heaven knows that is what happened with X3. Too many half developed plot elements. Yet, for all the technical advantages of animating superheroes, the animators didn't use their talent for big effects, but rather the small ones that add a realistic touch. Just look at the character's hair or skin. It's not easy to make those things look real (if you don't believe me, look at the majority of the computer animated movies out on the market. Shiny spheres and cylinders).

One of the things that I liked the most about this movie is all the time spent showing the characters at home, in more real-life situations. I love the idea of a "retired" hero at home with the kids, and I love how they were portrayed as being pretty much normal people. No dark past, no secret hideout, and no fancy cars (well, mostly). Even the relationships seems pretty much like everyone elses. Problems at home, time with the family and all that. Contrast that with the adventures the family has when they team up, and I begin to get a feeling that I have had since I was a kid. If these seemingly normal people can do it, I might stand a chance too. I want to be a superhero. Now where's that toxic waste...

D's Top Ten Movies #9 - The Lord of the Rings

What can I say, this is probably the epic of my generation. Originally, I was skeptical of these movies. I missed all of the hype surrounding the first of these movies (being in Mexico at the time), and my first impression of them came from a giant poster in the apartment of a college student that I taught in Puebla. As my companion and I were getting to know her, we talked about it, and I remember thinking, "Man, another fantasy nerd pic." You see, I am not a big fan of the fantasy genre. It was the nerdy kids that I grew up with always talking about wizards this and unicorns that that really turned me off on the subject. I guess I should tell you that I was what most kids called nerdy, so the kids that I called nerdy were, well, ubernerds. Anyway, I really didn't think that the movies or books were worth checking out.

That all changed when Fellowship of the Ring was released on DVD. I was at my parents house for a few weeks, and saw a poster for Fellowship in the window of the local Blockbuster. Thinking that Liv Tyler was hot, I decided to give it a rent, and I got hooked.

I don't know what to say about these films (In case you haven't picked up on it yet, I'm considering the trilogy as one movie) other than what has already been said. 11 Oscars and millions of fans can't be completely wrong. The cinematography is good, the adaptation, though lacking in some parts, is about as good as you can get, and the acting is well done. I think that the biggest thing about these movies is the absolutely large feel of these movies. From the sets, to the backgrounds, to the story itself, everything is too large to be contained in this world, yet no so big that it seems unreal. Kudos to Peter Jackson for undertaking a task that by its very nature doesn't usually work and making it work.

D's Top Ten Movies #10 - The Importance of Being Earnest

So, to start out the list we have one of the funniest movies I happen to own, The Importance of Being Earnest. My first impression of the movie was that it was just another Jane Austen wannabe, estrogen filled, chick flick. Well, though this isn't your typical man movie, I was pleasantly surprised when I got around to watching it. I usually describe Earnest to others as the ultimate polite comedy. I'm not fully sure what I mean by that, but it seems to fit. The humor in this film is wonderfully dry and wraps some of the most over-the-top moments in stuffy victorian sensibilities. I really think that it's the juxtaposition of absurd and subdued that makes the film so excruciatingly funny.

The cast is great. All the actors seem to play well, and do it naturally except for Reese Witherspoon. She does a fine job, but you can tell that this isn't her ususal type of role, and she doesn't pull it off with quite the grace that everyone else does. I don't think I need to say much about the screenplay. It's good. Maybe not the best adaptation of the Oscar Wilde classic, but it's good enough for me.

I would reccommend this highly to anyone, and yes guys, it is safe to have in your collection. It's funny if you want to pay attention to the plot and show a bit of class, but it isn't by any means an Adam Sandler movie, so if that's what you are looking for, keep looking. All in all, this is a charming and very funny movie that is clean enough for any BYU girl out there.

I Like to Watch

So, I figured that in order to honor my return to the blogosphere, I would present all of my (2) faithful readers with a list of the top 10 movies that I happen to own. For those of you who don't know, I consider myself a kind of a film nerd. I don't often spend time at the art house cinemas (most of that stuff happens once a year during Sundance, and I've never been), and I've missed a lot of the "classics" so I'm probably the film world's equivalent of a band geek. Being that as it may, I feel my credentials are sound. I've seen a lot of bad movies and like to think that I've got a pretty good eye for a good one. So, now that I've established myself as one of the world's foremost connoisseurs of film, let's get down to business.

First of all, let me tell you that for me, cinema falls into two general categories. There are movies and there are films. Movies tend to be more of the "mental junk food" type, to borrow a phrase from my dad. Sometimes they are just dumb, like Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure or Airplane or more substantial like Sneakers, but they are always pure entertainment. Then there are films. To me, films have something epic, artistic or classic about them. I don't favor one category over the other, they both serve a purpose, and you'll see a mix of them throughout the list.

One last thing about the list. I have put it in an order, from 10 at the bottom and 1 at the top, but you shouldn't consider the order to be set in stone. I debated a lot about what to put in the list and where to put it and if you were to ask me a month from now it would likely be different. That being said, let me start you off with short reviews of a few of the honorable mentions. These are in no order whatsoever.

Star Wars
Yeah, it didn't make the top 10. I like it a lot, and the trilogy has become modern mythology, but I really feel that the new trilogy and the additions that Lucas has made (not to mention his greedy marketing schemes) have tarnished it. Good story, classic characters, effects that still look good to me, and a lot of childhood nostalgia help this one to make honorable mention.

Much Ado About Nothing
I can't remember the first time that I realized Shakespeare could be wickedly funny, but I'm pretty sure that it was while watching the 1993 Kenneth Branagh version. I guess this would fall into the film category, the choice of location is probably enough to put it there for me. I mean, after all, Tuscany! The acting is superb, except for the reason that this didn't make the top ten, Keanu Reeves. As far as I'm concerned, Keanu's career peaked at Bill and Ted's. I'm convinced that Keanu was cast because there wasn't enough money left for someone else. Man, his scenes make this otherwise magnificent movie drop down to honorable mention status. Too bad.

Some Like It Hot
Oooh, a classic. Very funny. For those of you who haven't seen it, it's an over-the-top comedy of errors about two cross-dressing jazz musicians in the late 20's. If that doesn't pique your interest, you probably wouldn't like this movie. I don't know what more to say about it other than you'll laugh your head off when you watch it.

Sneakers
This one is a great movie that is suspenseful without being over done and funny without being ridiculous. I really think that the cast sells this movie for me. Robert Redford, Sidney Poitier, Sir Ben Kingsley, David Stratharin (of recent Good Night and Good Luck fame), River Phoenix and... Dan Aykroyd? Well, trust me, it works due to a well written and well thought out script that seems to know how to best use each actor. The addition of Mary McDonnell adds a touch of class that makes this movie a real treat to watch.

Clue
It's sopomoric, silly, and it has 3 endings! Man we watched this so much when I was a kid that my mom banned it for a while. Maybe that had to do with some of the innuendos (which I didn't pick up as a kid), but mostly I think it had to do with all the repeated viewings. This movie has such a great ensemble cast and some unforgettable lines ("heaving... breathing flames" and "I had to stop her from screaming" come to mind) that it is worth a few viewings. Though it has three different endings (which one you saw was determined by which theater you went to, I believe) you should really watch all of them back to back to back. And remember folks, Communism is just a red herring.

Ghostbusters
This is another one that I watched a lot as a kid. I still remember the first time I saw it was when my cousins rented it when it first came out on VHS. I was pretty young then, and quite frankly it scared me a little. Good thing I got over that. Between the movies, the cartoon and the proton pack I got for my 7th birthday, I grew up in a Ghostbusters world. I guess it was such a big part of my pop-cultural education that I named my current computer Ecto-1, and I've never thought of twinkies in the same way...

Well, that wraps up my list of honorable mentions. In the next few days, I will post more in depth reviews of my top ten list, one movie at a time. Stay tuned...