Funniest thing I heard all day

I was playing a game with my niece today during dinner. It went something like this: I would compare her to something good, and her brother to something bad. Then she would return the favor. She's 7 and he's 14 with a bit of an attitude, so it worked. After a few rounds of this, I felt things were getting a little too formulaic, and instead of passing her a compliment, I went absurd and told her she was as black as the olive I was currently holding in my hand. Her response was priceless:

"Have you seen those crackers in the kitchen?"

My boring room

I have to admit that my sister outdid herself this year in picking me out a present. I've been wanting to get something to cover the walls of my room for some time now, and she picked out a couple of things to get that started:
Two James Bond posters! Most excellent. As you can see, my room is in need some sprucing up:

I took those photos when I moved in, and if you've been over to my place lately, you'll know that the only thing that has changed is the amount of books on my shelf (and I replaced my stereo). Now, I love my room, but the place is pretty sterile - kind of like an Ikea showroom without the charm (hmm...). I'd like to personalize the place a little bit. So, after a trip to the local Swedish modular furniture mart, and a few hours scouring art.com, I've come up with a few ideas. First of all, I need more light in my room. As is, I have three light sources - a floor lamp and a table lamp (seen in the first bedroom photo) and a second table lamp on my desk (seen on the desk). Maybe another floor lamp? Where would I put it? And what about getting rid of all the white in my room? What color might work? I'm kind of hoping that one of you might be able to help. Yeah, wishful thinking, I know, but I'm not about to refuse any kind of suggestion.
At the very least, I've come up with some ideas about what to put on the walls. I figure I should start with the things that I like, which means heavy on music, movies and photography. I've already got the two Bond posters, so that's a start on the movies, but I figure that I've got to class it up a bit so that my room doesn't look like a college dorm. Luckily, I found these:


Aaaah, Vertigo. What a great poster. And I love the little splash of blood on the last one. As far as music is concerned, I got this great idea, but I'm not quite sure how to fund it. Basically, it would hang over my bed (being roughly the same width) and look something like this:
Those are all album covers from Blue Note Jazz albums. The artwork is pretty easy to come by, but I don't really know about the frames. Anyone know where to get a bunch of 9x9-ish frames cheap? Well, this may never happen, but I think it would look pretty cool. Now for a few more things I'd like to have on my walls:


I love that Louis Armstrong poster. These next two fall into the NYC category. The first one is cool, but way beyond my price range:

I really like the Hopper, and strangely enough it's cheaper on the MoMA website than it is at Art.com. Maybe the MoMA store is more of a bargain than I think it is. Then again, maybe not.


These are the kinds of photos that I'd like to be taking. Unfortunately, my new camera hasn't magically made me a better photographer, so it might be a little while before I'm framing anything that I've taken, but I guess that will just give me more time to save up for that frame. But, I can't resist sharing a recent photo that I took a couple of weeks ago:
Well, I hope you all are having a great Holiday Season. Merry Christmas (late!) to you all!

Thing I learned watching TV with my parents

Apparently, at least according to the Hallmark Channel commercial I just saw, the greatest gift of Christmas is Ernest Borgnine. Remind me not to open any packages with the Hallmark logo on them this year.

New York has changed my father

While driving around in my father's F-150, being forced to listen to the radio by what must be one of man's least effective in-dash CD players (there's actually no CD slot in-dash, only a 6 CD changer behind the driver's seat in a cubby that is currently covered in tools), I found out that the first programmed radio station is not the local oldies station (like it used to be), but the much more "urban" hip-hop station. This baffles me.

I'm no Jon Stewart, but... part 3

Former Vice President Al Gore is letting the National Academy of Recording Arts And Sciences know that he's pissed about not getting a Grammy nod this year. When asked if he even did anything to qualify for a Grammy, Mr. Gore responded, "Well, don't they give away like 1,000 of them a year? I mean, I really didn't win that Oscar, but I got plenty of credit for it. Surely someone can find room for me on their nomination. Kanye's got a ton, and he's an activist, right? Perhaps he can help."
Some have questioned the timing of Mr. Gore's reaction, since the nominations were announced a week ago. "Well, it's kind of embarrassing, but I've been so busy readying my den for our big holiday party, that I kind of missed the news. I mean, where can I put my Prince of Asturias Award without it looking pretentious? And what can I do with this Primetime Emmy? The Nobel? Well, I'll be wearing that one, of course."

Shopping = Done

No more need for 80s robots, butlers, or live in college students who may or may not be related to the Fonz.

However, as long as I'm on the subject of old sitcoms of dubious quality, here's a few more clips for your enjoyment:










OK, enough with the cruddy 80s stuff. Well, Picture Pages wasn't completely cruddy.

Personal Assistant

So, my mom just dropped a bunch of Christmas shopping on me that I really don't have the time to do. Personally, I'm looking at this as an opportunity- and opportunity to get me a personal assistant. Being a grad student really narrows my options here, but I have managed to compile a list of affordable candidates:

• Kevin, Screech's robot from Saved by the Bell
• Charles in Charge (though I hear he has a promising law career now)
• Charles in Charge's friend Buddy
• V.I.C.I. the robot from Small Wonder
• Mr. Belvedere (if he'll come out of retirement)
• and, if I can afford him, Benson.

Don't remember some of these? Here's a refresher:

• Kevin (actually, I couldn't find Kevin, but this replacement should suffice)
• The future Bob Loblaw & his sidekick Buddy (Nicole Eggert was hot, but Charle's girlfriend was hotter)
• Small Wonder (or if you're really brave... link)
• Mr. Belvedere - I wish this was still available.
• Benson
  

Amen.

Stay tuned

Wow, lot's has been happening lately, but I've been too busy to post... so, expect something good soon, like what my new favorite shirt is, the rest of my brithday, and how I finally saw Wicked...

I'm no Jon Stewart, but... part 2

In a recent update, President Ahmadinejad was quoted as saying, "In Iran, we don't have quantum theorists, like in your country. We don't have that in our country. In Iran, we do not have this phenomenon. I don't know who's told you that we have it."

I'm no Jon Stewart, but...

The New York Times is reporting that American intelligence agencies are now saying that Iran ended it's nuclear weapons program in 2003. The intelligence community reportedly changed their minds when these recent photos revealed that Iranian scientists are still using the Rutherford model of the atom (rim shot). Thank you.